


Dying to Live

by MotherOfCats



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-05 21:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfCats/pseuds/MotherOfCats
Summary: What happens after the end of the world doesn't come? Do you rebuild? Restart your life? Settle down? Disappear? Aloy and her friends look for answers to these questions as they tackle life after Zero Dawn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fan Fiction. Spoilers from the end of Horizon Zero Dawn. Any comments and critiques are welcome! Hope you enjoy!

_This is it; this is where I die…_

Technically, this was the second time that day the thought had crossed Aloy’s mind. Once when the bridge at the ridge fell on her, thank All Mother or the Sun or _whoever_ , that she had the shield-weaver armor on. Now, as the Deathbringer’s missiles rained down on her and breaking apart the wall protecting her, the thought came up again.

The group had been fighting this machine for what seemed like forever. Trading places trying to draw its fire off the others while they shot at its components with everything they had. Aloy was trying to craft more ammo, and the Deathbringer decided this was the moment to draw attention to her once again.

_Just one more._ She thought as the wall behind her began to crumble and in the distance she could hear the cannon on the Deathbringer wind to life again. She brought her bow up just in time to see the cannon fire right to her location.

It was too late to roll out of the way. She only had time to turn her head to look at the movement out of the corner of her eye as she was pushed out of the way across the gap in between the walls of the Alight and to safely on the other side.

The landing was rough and for a brief moment the wind was knocked out of her. She opened her eyes and came face to face with Erend’s grey eyes before the explosion sent debris raining down above them. Erend covered his head with one hand and used his body to cover Aloy’s.

“Are you alright?” Erend shouted over the Deathbringer’s guns, which were now turned on Talanah and Varl as they sprang from their various hiding places.

_No, not really._ She thought to herself, but she nodded as Erend got up and helped her to her feet. They crouched behind some of the last remanning wall that made the circle on the Alight.

“We can’t take much more of this.” Erend expressed, his voice tired. Aloy looked over at him. His eyes were the color of snow storm clouds, his armor was torn and missing a few panels on his arm and shoulder, his face was dirty and bloody and he seemed to be breathing too fast. Erend turned his eyes to her’s and her heart picked up speed. “We need to finish this.”

Aloy turned her attention back to the Deathbringer, disregarding the heat that threatened to spread to her face, and brought her hand to her Focus. The Deathbringer’s status came up in front of her eyes. Talanah and Varl had done a number on the machine while they were destracted, the cannons were disabled, and its legs were wobbling underneath it.

“One good hit to the heating vents should do the trick.” Aloy said turning off the Focus and looking back at Erend. This news seemed to relax him, if only for a moment.

Talanah and Varl had retreated back into hiding, Aloy could see Talanah across the Alight getting a few arrows put together, Varl was out of sight. The Deathbringer turned its guns on Aloy and Erend’s hiding spot and started firing. Aloy ducked her head below the edge of the wall. It wouldn't hold for long.

“Aloy, what do you need us to do?” Erend asked just before Varl made his way up behind her, a fresh set of arrows in his quiver.

“I need to overheat it. If you guys can draw the fire and let me get into a position, when it opens the vents I can get a good shot and it should go down.” Aloy explained. Erend and Varl nodded and waited for a break in fire before they sprung out to the left, drawing its fire.

Aloy ran to the right, knocking an arrow, and came around behind the machine. She waited a few moments, watching in agony as the Deathbringer fired against Erend and Varl. She brought the bow up and let the arrow fly, sending it straight into the gun turret knocking it off the machine.

She continued around to the front of the machine, knocking a fire arrow, as the machine started turning in her direction. It only was able to fire a couple bullets at her before its heat vents opened and it lowered to the ground.

Time seemed to slow as she brought the bow up and aimed at the nearest vent. She breathed in slow, like Rost taught her, let out half way and released.

The arrow hit its mark and the machine went up in a massive explosion of flame and sparks, the wave knocking her off her feet. She got up, momentarily stunned, before Erend was at her side getting her on her feet and pushing her up to the top of the Alight to towards the Spire.

“Go Aloy! Finish it!” He yelled as she got her bearings and rushed the rest of the way to HADES.

————

Aloy lay on her back watching the blue light as it made its way up the Spire and out to the rest of the world. She would have felt a little better about it if the electricity wasn't still making its way out of her body. But as the red sky turned back into blue, and the sun peaked its way behind a perfectly white cloud, she felt something she hadn't in a long time. Peace.

She wasn't sure how long she lay there before three shadows fell over her. Talanah reached out her hand and Aloy took it. After she regained her footing she made her way to the edge of the Alight, through a small patch of jungle, where it looked out to Meridian in the distance. The group followed her Erend by her side followed by Varl and Talanah.

The Machines were down, the fighting was done, and it seemed like the rest of the world looked up to the Alight where Aloy stood.

Aloy lifted her bow high into the air in triumph and the crowd, the whole city of Meridian, erupted into cheers. Erend and Varl cheered themselves, grinning from ear to ear with their weapons high in the air.

Aloy looked behind them to where Talanah had eased herself into a sitting position with her back against the cliff wall. Aloy walked over and sat across from her with her back against another bolder. Talanah’s face was bloody, in fact most of her body was blood, and she cradled her left arm at her side like it was broken.

When the others sat down, Erend beside her and Varl beside Talanah, Aloy could see that the adrenaline from the fight had wore off and their bodies were feeling the effects. Varl had a couple bullet holes in his shoulder, his leg was burned badly by metalburn from the corrupted, and he held onto his ribs tightly.

Erend stretched out his legs in front of him and leaned his head back against the boulder. He had a head wound that was still leaking fresh blood down his face and neck. His hands were dirty and blistered from using his hammer without his gloves. His whole body shook uncontrollably and his breathing became ragged.

“We’re allowed to die now right?” Erend chuckled looking over at Aloy without raising his head. Aloy’s heart fell deep into her stomach.

“No one is dying today, Vanguardsman.” Talanah spoke up adjusting her arm with a wince.

Erend breathed deeply a couple times before speaking again. “There going to have a hard time getting to us up here.”

“Just hang in there Erend.” Aloy grabbed his shaking hand and held it tightly. “Varl?” She asked seeing him close his eyes and leaning against the rock.

“I’ll live.” He snapped sounding annoyed.

————

It was night before anyone came for them. Aloy woke to a Nora Brave shaking her awake.

“Anointed one?” He asked as if he was afraid she was dead. She opened her eyes and the Brave took a long sigh of relief. Aloy was leaned against Erend their hands still linked between them. She looked at him and his eyes were still closed. A Carja soldier was helping Talanah up and another Nora was already bandaging up an already complaining Varl.

“Erend.” She said giving his shoulder a gentle nudge. He didn’t move. “Erend.” She gave him a harder nudge and his head rolled over to the other side. “Erend!” she yelled as his body slumped onto the ground away from her. She rushed over to his head and suddenly there was a rush of people around her, mostly Carja and a couple Vanguard. The Nora Brave that had woke her grabbed her arm to pull her away. “No, get away!” She yelled at him slinging her arm to try and shake him.

Suddenly three more Braves came to the first one’s aid as they pried her from Erend’s side as she kicked and screamed against them. It was hard to focus, all she seemed to see was red, anger and fear threatened to choke her to death. Voices were raised around her but it was like trying to hear under water, all she could focus on was getting away and back to Erend.

“Aloy stop!” A voice run out among the other shouts and haze of confusion that was going on. A figure came into her sight, and it was the only one that could pry her eyes from Erend, who was still on the ground with a Carja woman leaning over him. 

“Teb.” She said his name as she stopped fighting with the Braves at her back. Teb wouldn't hurt her, Teb was her friend. He had placed his cool hands on each side of her face, their eyes connecting, and she was able to focus again.

“Aloy, they are helping him, you need to let them do their job.” Teb said slowly and quietly like talking to a frightened child. The Braves backed off and Teb grabbed ahold of her shoulders and turned her away from Erend. There was two horse pulled carts, one with the rest of the Nora group around it, six in total, Varl was already in the back of the cart bandaged up. The other cart had a few Carja soldiers in the back, looking like they were trying to stay out of the way.

Aloy stopped in her tracks and Teb’s hands on her shoulders tightened slightly. "I don't want to go with them." Aloy confessed quietly, knowing Teb wouldn't take it personally.

“ I know, it’s alright. We’re going to get you patched up and you need to rest.” Teb explained. “After that, it’s up to you.”

“But Erend-“

<“He's right were he needs to be right now, with the people who will take care of him. Now you need to do the same.”

Aloy looked up to him and he gave her a small smile. She finally nodded and walked the rest of the way to the cart and got in beside Varl. Varl made a point to scoot away from her and wouldn't look her in the eye.

She ignored him and looked back to where Erend was. She couldn’t tell what they were doing to him but he was still on the ground where'd he fallen before. Talanah walked up to the cart and put her good hand on Aloy’s shoulder.

“I will watch out for him Thrush.” Talanah nodded. Aloy nodded back, she trusted Talanah, but even with her promise it didn't settle Aloy's upset stomach.

As the cart started to pull away Aloy’s heart ached and the only thing she could think of was-

_I never gave him his two minutes._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you for reading! Thank you for commenting!

The trip down the spire was harsh, the road was just a cleared path the Vanguard and Carja soldiers had made in order to reach them and every bump sent pain through Aloy’s body. Varl was being annoyingly quiet the ride down but Aloy couldn’t bring herself to care. She drummed her fingers on the side of the cart in frustration until the ends of her fingers began to hurt. Finally they reached the Nora camp, it was north east of the Alight next to the river just outside of the village. There was a few campfires surrounded by about twenty tents and a lot of tired and injured Nora.

The Braves brought the cart up to a tent and helped Aloy down off it. Varl slid off the cart next and disappeared into another tent across the camp. Teb led Aloy into the nearest tent. There was a makeshift cot on the one side and a healer on the other, waiting for them.

“Anointed.” The healer bowed her head in greeting. Aloy groaned loudly.

“Just Aloy please.” She snapped sitting down heavily onto the cot. Pain shot up her back and she cursed under her breath. 

The healer nodded and she handed Aloy a vile of light blue liquid, shock wax root. She downed the vile and the pain she had been feeling subsided some. It must have been from when HADES had shocked her when she stabbed him.

“That will do for now, you need to rest and let your body heal.” The healer said gently pushing Aloy to lie down on the cot covering her with a blanket. At this point Aloy was so tired she didn’t mind the command.

The healer exited and Teb sat on the floor next to the cot. “Is there anything I can do?” He asked not looking at her.

“Where’d they take him?” She asked ignoring his question.

“I don’t know,” Teb shook his head. “I assume back to Meridian.”

“You could go check on him for me?” Aloy had no right to ask him that, but desperation was settling down so hard she could feel it in her bones.

“Aloy, you know I can’t do that.” Teb sighed. “War Chief Sona is unconscious, but any of these Nora would willingly give me up to her if they caught me sneaking off to Meridian. I don’t want to go home an outcast.”

He was right, she knew that, but she couldn’t help the tears that stung her eyes and she rolled over away from him before he could see it. Teb got up and put a hand gently on her arm.

“Get some rest.” He said, and he exited the tent, allowing Aloy’s unshed tears to fall down her cheeks.

————

Teb walked across the camp and into the tent that Varl disappeared to. He was sitting on his cot, looking down at the floor like it had all the answers in the world.

“What’s wrong with you? What happened up there?” Teb angrily shot out questions, his hands were fists at his side.

“Did- Did you see how she acted towards him?” Varl asked in a whisper. 

“What of it?”

“After everything, why would she want him?” Varl had finally looked up at Teb. Teb reined in the urge to hit him.

“ _After everything?_ What does that mean? Oh, you mean after the Nora made her an outcast at birth? Or after she saved as many as she could during the Proving? Or after she found the war party, your mother, and killed the killers? Or after _she saved the world_?” Teb was shaking with anger at this stupid selfish boy. “She owes the Nora _nothing_ , she doesn't belong with us Varl, she never has.”

“She was born from All Mother, why wouldn't she-“

“All Mother made Aloy this way, I think she understands.”

“I just thought-“

“What? That she would choose you? Look how your acting Varl, like a selfish child throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his way. You’ve put Aloy on a pedestal that she doesn’t want to be on and you’ve pushed her away.” Teb turned and pushed open the flap on the tent. “I hope you can get your act together and make yourself worthy of her time.” He said and he left.

He was probably a little too harsh on Varl, but it felt nice to get some of the frustration out, he never really liked Varl to begin with. It probably came from Varl being the same selfish boy at Teb's Proving that thought he was a mighty warrior because his mother was the War Chief. The same boy that looked down at Teb, who didn’t make it across the finish line at the Proving and laughed and laughed at him because Teb couldn't become a Brave.

Teb made a few rounds around the camp, making sure that all the healers had everything they needed for the wounded and making sure that the rest were doing what they needed to be doing. He was in no way a man in charge but at this point he wasn't sure who was supposed to be and no one could afford to slack off. 

It was almost dawn when he finally sat down to rest at the edge of the camp looking toward Meridian. Nothing in his wildest dreams could compare to the real thing and he wondered if this really was tainted land like the matriarchs said. His mind went to Erend, the Oseram with the mohawk. He remembered Erend from before the Proving and didn’t think much of him at the time, just an outlander, but clearly there was more than met the eye, if he caught Aloy’s attention.

_Damn it Aloy, you're going to make me go to Meridian aren’t you?_ He thought with a smile.

————

It was two days before War Chief Sona woke, and she made every attempt to be able to leave for the Sacred Lands as soon as possible, barking orders from inside her tent. Teb was running out of time.

Aloy had been sleeping off and on the past two days, she barley ate or drank and she hadn't left her tent. The healer said that the shock she took was taking a big toll on her body and she was regularly taking shock wax root. It left her exhausted and Teb was worried, if she wasn't better by the time the Nora left, he knew that they would take her with them, and that wasn't what she wanted.

“Have you heard anything?” Aloy whispered as Teb entered her tent. He shook his head, there was no word from Meridian, Carja or Vanguard. “But Talanah said-“

“Take care of yourself first.” He said putting his hand on her head, it felt too warm. “Erend would want you to do that.” She simply nodded before closing her eyes again.

He spoke to the healer, and after she reassured him that Aloy hadn't come down with a fever he felt slightly better. But it made his mind up, outcast or not, he needed to find out what happened to Erend. He’d owe Aloy that much.

He waited till dark, during the time the lookouts changed shifts, and slipped through the edge of the jungle with a hooded cloak around him headed towards Meridian. Once he was far enough away from the camp he made his way back onto the road and crossed the bridge into the Maizelands. He made his way around following the road before he got to the eastern elevator. It was an imposing piece of machinery and Teb knew it wouldn't be a pleasant experience for him. Ever since his fall from the Brave trail that day that Aloy saved him, heights weren't his strong suit anymore, which wasn't something the Nora would be proud of.

The door to the elevator was already open and he stepped inside taking a deep breath. It took him a moment to realize that he needed to flip the switch on the wall and the doors closed behind him as the car started to lift off the ground.

_Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down._ Teb repeated to himself as the car took him higher finally stopping at the top and the doors in front of him opened revealing a very bored looking Carja soldier. The soldier stood up straighter and banged his staff on the ground making Teb jump.

After Teb realized that the soldier wasn't moving after that he continued on till he got to the fork in the road and didn’t know where to go from there.

“Lost?” A voice behind him asked, Teb whirled around and came face to face with a Vanguard. “Wow buddy, you’re awfully jumpy tonight, been nursing the bottle have we?”

“Um, no, but you may be able to help me.”

“Sure, what’s the problem?”

“I’m looking for Erend.” Teb stated straightening up to try and look a little more imposing to the huge Vanguard, didn't work.

“Who are you?” The Vanguard narrowed his eyes his voice suddenly becoming angry.

“I just need to see Erend, he knows me.” Only then did he realize that they hadn't officially met yet. The Vanguard grabbed Teb by the collar and pulled him close to where they were nose to nose before pulling off the hood on Teb’s head. Then he dropped Teb immediately after seeing his blue tattoos on his face.

“You’re a Nora.” The Vanguard said in disbelief.

“I’m here for Aloy, please take me to Erend.” Teb said straightening the cloak.

After a moment of silence the Vanguard shook himself. “You will need to see Sun King Avad first, any questions regarding the Captain have been directed to him.”

\-------

Teb’s heart began to sink as they made their way to the palace, the Vanguard leading the way and two Carja soldiers following behind him.

_He’s dead? Is he dead? All Mother, how do I tell her he’s dead?_

By the time they reached the palace, Teb’s heart was deep into his stomach and racing faster than a Charger. He couldn’t even enjoy the walk through the city, and now as they walked across the bridge lined with Carja soldiers banging their staffs against the bridge, he couldn’t even remember what he passed by on the way. 

“Send for the King.” The Vanguard commanded a Carja soldier standing guard inside the palace. The soldier paused long enough to look at Teb over before quickly walking away.

It was only a few minutes before Avad walked through the door in a rush, in just a pair of silk trousers and slippers, and he hastily rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” He said to the Vanguard before his eyes fell on Teb. “You’re Nora, what are you doing here?” Teb opened his mouth to speak before Avad cleared his throat and held up his hand. “I apologize for my brashness, I’m not quite myself yet. Welcome to Meridian, I am Avad, the Sun King. Are you here on behalf of the Nora?”

“They don’t know I’m here, and I’d like to keep it that way. I’m here on behalf of Aloy.” Teb explained. “She wants an update on Erend.”

“How is Aloy? We haven’t heard word-“

“She’s fine, she’s still recovering from the battle, but she will pull through.” The look on Avad’s face told Teb he wasn’t used to being interrupted but he didn’t say anything. “She’s worried about Erend, it’s all she’s asked about. I’m going against the law of my people, with the risk of being outcast to be here for her, so please if he’s dead just tell me so I can be on my way.”

Avad sighed deeply. “He’s not dead, but he’s pretty close.” Avad walked over and sat on a bench pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “He still hasn't woke up yet. The Vanguard still aren't completely welcome by the people of Meridian, we were keeping his condition on a need to know basis in case anyone wanted to take advantage of his weak state.”

“Can I see him?”

“Of course.” Avad agreed rising again. 

Teb followed him into the Palace and down a couple sets of stairs to what looked like a hallway full of bedrooms that had been turned into an infirmary, beds filled each room and each bed had someone in it. Carja healers in elaborate headdresses went from person to person and room to room gliding over the floor like spirits.

They walked to the end of the hall and into the last room. The room was smaller than the others but there was only one bed in it and Erend lay in it eyes closed. There was a bandage around his head, around his eyes were dark and sunk in, and his skin was a sickly white color. If it wasn't for the gentle rise and fall of his chest Teb would have guessed he was dead.

The woman from the Alight sat in a chair next to him, a book in her hand, the other was in a sling close to her chest. Her face had several scratches on it and she was bandaged and stitched up in several places. She stood when Teb and Avad entered the room closing the book.

“Teb of the Nora, correct?” She guessed. Teb nodded and she held her hand out for him to shake and he took it without hesitation. “Talanah, Sun-Hawk of the Hunter’s Lodge.”

“How is he?” Avad asked as he looked over Erend.

Talanah shook her head. “No change, the healer said he’s had some internal trauma. Now he’s running a fever. Although if he’s not bleeding internally he may survive.”

Avad and Talanah turned their attention back to Teb who was having an internal struggle as his eyes took in ever inch of Erend. 

_How do I explain this to her? I don’t know what’s worse, he’s dead or he’s not dead but close enough?_

“Can I have a moment?” Teb asked breaking the overwhelming silence in the room.

“Sure, we will be in the hall.” Talanah said pushing Avad out the door and closing it behind her.

Teb sat down next to Erend and examined his face for a long moment. “When my mother was dying from a fever I would sit next to her like this.” Teb began, not knowing why but it felt right. “My father would tell me to just talk to her like she could hear every word I said, because All Mother would hear me and she would speak to my mother and tell her what I said.” He sighed, “Thats probably the nicest my father ever was to me.” He cleared his throat, pushing back the feelings that were coming up his throat. “Look Erend, I know you don’t know me but I’m going to tell it to you straight. I’m _scared_ , Aloy is scaring me. I have never seen her act like that when we had to pry her away from you at the Spire. I’ve never seen her cry and Erend she just looks so defeated and I don’t know how to help her. She needs you. So you need to beat this thing. You can’t die, or the Aloy we've all come to love and rely on will die with you, I know it.”

He took a shuddered breath before standing again and made his way to the door. He turned around once again to look at Erend, and maybe it was a trick of the light but Erend looked a little less bone white, and it gave Teb a little hope.

“I _will_ see you later Erend.” He said as he opened the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Helis stood over Aloy’s body. His eyes were red from the reflection of the red sky, or maybe it was the blood that ran down her face into her eyes, she wasn’t sure. Her body was numb and she couldn’t move as she watched him examine her spear in his hand. 

“Seems like a fitting end, to kill you with your own spear.” His grin was wicked and Aloy’s heart started racing.

She turned her head and Talanah’s body came into view, she was on her stomach, her eyes were wide and unmoving a hand out stretched towards Aloy. Next to her was Varl, he was on his back but his face was in the dirt neck turned unnaturally.

“Your friends didn’t put up much of a fight _huntress_. I’m disappointed, I’d thought you of all people would keep better company than that.” Helis commented as he spun the spear a few times. He walked over to Talanah and nudged her body with his foot, shaking his head. “These two wouldn’t even be fit for the Sun Ring.” He turned back to Aloy grinning again. “Not that I wouldn’t try, I have a new pet that needs some playmates.”

Aloy tried to move, tears stinging her eyes, but it was no use, her body wouldn’t respond. She turned her head to the other side and the Spire came into view, corruption already half way up and gaining. 

Helis sighed happily. “Not long now, HADES work is almost done.”

“You are a fool, Helis.” Aloy croaked out weakly. “HADES destroying the world includes you too.”

“You know nothing, huntress.” 

A loud battle cry sounded from the other direction and Aloy turned to see Erend, with his Oseram hammer high in the air, charging Helis.

_Erend no!_ She tried to scream but her voice stopped working, nothing worked now, she couldn’t even turn her head away. 

Helis turned to watch Erend, a bored expression on his face. Erend swung his hammer, almost in slow motion. Helis easily dodged it and took Aloy’s spear and pierced it through Erend’s neck releasing a waterfall of blood.

A wail cut through the air, so full of grief and pain it almost wasn’t human. Aloy didn’t care that it came from her mouth, tears flowing freely from her eyes to the extent she thought they would drown her. She didn’t care about that either, she would welcome it. 

Helis retracted the spear and Erend clutched the wound briefly, eyes wide, before falling to his knees and then face first into the ground beside Varl and Talanah. Helis casually walked back to Aloy leaning over regarding her with a smile.

“Oh, that one was special, wasn’t he?” He laughed. “Good.” He straightened and walked back over to Erend, turning him over onto his back with a foot. “Hm, I would have never pictured an Oseram being your type huntress.” He picked up Erend’s hammer and set down her spear, testing it in his hand. He raised the hammer over his head-

“Stop it!” Aloy begged finally being able to turn her head away before a sickening crunch sent shivers through her body. Her stomach did a lurch but nothing came up. She opened her eyes again, the corruption almost to the top of the Spire now. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and still couldn’t move. 

Helis was standing over her again, taking the end of her spear and turning her head to face him. There was blood covering the lower half of his body up to his knees and he had a few drops on his face. 

“There, that’s the look in your eyes I’ve been waiting for.” He smiled, almost giddy. “That look of defeat, helplessness, dispair, it’s magnificent.” He raised her spear over her positioning it above her heart, ready for the final blow. “Soon, no one will even remember you, think about that.”

“I don’t care.” Aloy whispered, defeated. Helis dropped the spear as the corruption reached the top of the Spire and spead across the sky.

“Rost would be disappointed.”

————

Aloy sat up suddenly on the cot breathing heavily. The room spun from the movement and she leaned over the side of the cot and wretched into a pot someone left there. 

She took a few deep breaths before the image of Erend from her dream slammed into her again and she leaned into the pot and vomited again and again until she was only dry heaving her tears into the pot.

She lay on the cot again wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, taking deep breaths again. She raised her hand in front of her face to watch it tremble uncontrollably.

_Calm down Aloy, calm down, it was just a dream._ She told herself wiping a bit of sweat from her brow with her thumb.

The tent flap opened and the healer from before walked in carrying a small bag, it looked like the sun was just starting to rise outside.

“Oh good you’re awake.” The healer said examining her face, she took a quick look in the pot next to the bed. “Still getting sick I see.”

“Still?” Aloy asked confused.

“It can be a side effect from the shock wax root, you’ve been in and out the last few days. You still having nightmares?”

“I don’t remember-“ Aloy started, “Days?”

“I figured you wouldn’t remember, you never seemed lucid while you were awake. We’ve been treating you three days. You’ve been reacting great to the treatments so we stopped them last night.”

Aloy tried to remember the last few days and the last thing she remembered was them bringing her to the tent from the Alight. 

“Has there been news from Meridian?” Aloy asked hopeful. The healer shook her head as she poked and prodded at Aloy’s body before nodding, satisfied.

“You seemed to be most of the way healed, rest is all you need now.” The healer said. 

Shouting began to be herd from outside and growing stronger. Aloy and the healer turned their attention to the entrance of the tent as a Brave rushed in, out of breath. 

“We may need you out here.” He said.

“What’s going on?” The healer questioned packing up her supplies into the bag quickly. 

“Two Braves are fighting at the border.”

“Fighting who?” Aloy asked sitting up. 

“Each other.” The Brave said. 

“It’s Varl and Teb.” A voice from outside could be heard. 

“Varl and Teb? Teb’s not even a Brave!” Aloy swung her legs over the end of the cot and tried to stand. The healer put a hand on her shoulder to stop her but the look that Aloy gave her made her back up.

“Help her.” The healer instructed the Brave as she passed him and rushed out of the tent.

The Brave crossed the tent and put Aloy’s arm around his neck supporting her weight as they made their way out of the tent and into the cool morning. 

“Why are they fighting?” Aloy asked already out of breath. 

“I’m not sure.”

They reached the circle of Nora that had congregated the same time War Chief Sona did and she pushed her way through, Aloy and the Brave following in her wake until they reached the middle.

Teb was on his back on the ground, his face bloody, dust was kicked up around him as he had just fallen. Varl stood over him, his nose broken and blood spilling down his mouth and chin. Varl fell to his knees as he started punching Teb fist after fist. 

“Varl stop this nonsense!” Sona yelled rushing to pull Varl off of Teb. Varl shook her off him landing another punch to the side of Teb's head. Teb had his hands up to protect himself but it didn’t seem to be working well, the experienced Brave taking advantage of his weakness in fighting.

Sona tried another time to pry Varl off of Teb before Aloy broke free of the Brave holding her up. She stumbled at first but she regained her stability to rush to grab Varl by the shoulders and with Sona’s help push him onto his back in the dirt. His eyes looked almost glazed over in anger as they reguarded Aloy. 

“What in All Mother’s Embrace are you doing?” Sona asked her son. 

Varl was quiet for a long moment before he turned his head to spit some blood out of his mouth before he answered. “Teb went to Meridian. To the tainted lands, he is tainted now.” He growled out.

Aloy stood, wobbling again before making her way back to Teb, who was breathing heavily still on his back. She made it to his side and she sank heavily to her knees. He turned to look at her through one good eye, the other was swollen shut.

“Hey Aloy, nice to see you on your feet.” He said through bloody teeth. He coughed once, “Erend is still alive.” He wheezed. “I went to check on him for you. He’s not doing good, but he’s still alive”

Aloy’s heart hurt, she had no right to ask that of him that in the first place and after refusing he went anyway. “Teb-“

“Don’t start with a lecture, please?” Teb said with a smile.

The healer came to his other side and looked him over before sighing in relief. “Luckily nothing is broke, you will just be sore and bruised for a few days.”

“But I broke his nose right?” Teb asked the healer with hope in his strained voice.

“Well yes but-“

“Good.” Teb said with a smile as he closed his eye. 

Aloy rolled her eyes at him before a couple Braves came to take him back to his tent for rest. Aloy tried to get up but couldn’t and she was assisted by the Brave from before. They turned to look at Varl, he was sitting on the ground now with his mothers hand clamped hard on his bad bandaged shoulder, keeping him in place.

“This is all _your_ fault.” Varl spit in her direction. “We’ll all be tainted by the time we get back to the Sacred Lands. Because of you and your Oseram lover.”

“The matriarchs made everyone here Seekers.” Aloy gestured to the crowd still gathered around them. “That means they can go anywhere they need to, that _includes_ Meridian.”

“She’s right.” Sona said helping Varl to his feet. “We still have preparations to make before we can go home. You all have tasks to do, let’s get it done.” She spoke to the crowd. They started dispersing and she led Varl away.

Aloy had the Brave escort her back to her own tent. She sank back into the cot, her head pounding so hard she thought she may get sick again. 

_I need to talk to Avad before the Nora leave. He may want to talk to War Chief Sona. Relations between tribes need to be mended._ She thought to herself making a plan in her head. _Hang in there Erend. I still have two minutes to give you._


	4. Chapter 4

After a dreamless sleep the night before Aloy woke up feeling refreshed and felt well enough and strong enough to be able to make the trip to Meridian. Knowing that Erend was alive and taken care of she could focus on the relationship between the Nora and Carja. Avad would want an update on when the Nora would leave. Plus she had a few stops in the Nora camp before departing.

She gathered her things that were stored underneath her cot, and when she held up the shield-weaver armer it fell apart in her hands. Aloy thought back to the fight at the Alight and how it had stopped regenerating towards the end. She sighed putting her bow and quiver on her back and her spear onto her belt. For now she would have to deal with just her tunic and trousers until she could retrieve her other armor she left at Olin’s apartment.

Her first stop was War Chief Sona, she wasn’t hard to find, just follow the shouting. Sona was instructing two young Braves on how best to pack supplies in the large cart. She flustered both of them enough they were tripping over themselves and each other. 

“You idiots, you don’t put the food crates on the bottom, we have to get to those on the road!” Sona ran a tired hand down her face. She turned and seen Aloy approach and left the two Braves who took a sigh of relief before continuing their work. 

“Aloy, how are you feeling?” Sona asked holding out a hand for Aloy to shake.

“Better, how’s Varl?” Aloy asked. As angry as she was at Varl, he’d helped her save the world, and he was still a trusted friend.

“His body will heal before his ego.” Sona said with a sigh. “I will not make excuses for his actions.”

“I know you don’t agree with Teb going to Meridian, he did it for me, asked him to even though I didn’t have the right to put that pressure on his shoulders. He did deny me but he went anyway. I am sorry for that.”

“Teb is a smart boy, his mouth runs faster than his brain, but going to Meridian was his choice. You were right, the matriarchs made all of us Seekers and just because the rest of us made the decision not to go, we cannot condemn Teb for doing it.”

“Has Varl spoke to you about what’s bothering him?”

“Briefly.”

“So what’s going on?”

“I think you better talk to him about that.”

Aloy dropped that subject. “When do you plan to leave?”

“Hopefully tomorrow, if not the day after.”

After Aloy and Sona ended their conversation Sona went back to the two young Braves and Aloy went to find Teb. She found him stitching a pair of trousers inside his tent. His eyes were a little less swollen, he was able to open both eyes, but he was bruised in about every color Aloy could think of.

“Aloy!” Teb smiled, setting his stitching aside. “Feeling better?”

“I am, how about you?” Aloy said sitting beside him on his cot.

“A little sore, but I'm well otherwise.”

“You look terrible.” Aloy laughed.

“Are you kidding? I plan on strutting through the camp later. The ladies love a battle wound.” Teb replied with his head held high, getting another long laugh from Aloy. 

“Are you planning on petitioning the matriarchs to make you a Brave now?”

“All Mother no.” Teb scrunched his nose. “I prefer to use my mind and words over a spear and bow.”

“How is that working out for you?” Aloy asked gesturing to his beat up face.

“You can’t win them all” Teb shrugged.

“I’m going to Meridian today.” Aloy changed the subject. “I need to update Avad that the Nora will depart in a day or two.”

“What about Erend?”

“I know he’s alive and being taken care of. I want to work on the relationship between the tribes first. We will need each other to rebuild.”

“Aloy,” Teb began, very serious. “He’s not doing good, maybe you _should_ go see him, they aren’t sure if-“

“Erend is stubborn, he’s also a fighter, he will make it through this.” Aloy interrupted getting up.

_I don’t know if my heart can take seeing him like that right now._ Aloy admitted to herself.

“I have another stop I need to make before I go. I’m burning daylight.” Aloy said before quickly exiting Teb’s tent. 

It took asking a few Nora before Aloy found Varl’s tent. Without thinking she barged in and caught him sleeping on his cot. He woke up in alarm and winced when he raised up too quick. He was shirtless, bandages from the battle were around his shoulder and side. His nose looked a little crooked now.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I should have called from outside.” Aloy apologized, hands up, before backing her way to the entrance.

“It’s fine.” Varl said groggily, bending down to retrieve a shirt off the floor before painfully putting it on. “I’m glad you came.” He said quietly clearing his throat. “I wanted to apologize for how I’ve been acting.”

“I think you better apologize to Teb. He’s the one you beat up yesterday.”

“I plan to.” Varl nodded. “I mean I apologize for what I said to you yesterday. You saved the entire world I had no right to speak to you that way.”

“What’s your deal anyway?” Aloy asked almost ignoring his apology.

Varl suddenly looked very nervous, a little color rose into his cheeks and he scratched the back of his head.

“I guess I’m a little-“ Varl paused almost choking out the words. “Jealous.”

“Of Teb?”

“ _No_ , I mean maybe a little because of how close you two are but no I’m talking about Erend.”

“Erend? Why?”

“I seen you two at the Alight, how concerned you were, then when they separated you.” Varl trailed off. “I guess in my mind I imagined you going back to the Sacred Lands with us and that I would maybe have a chance to win your affections” Varl looked down at the floor. “I’m just disappointed that I didn’t even get a shot.”

“Oh.” Was all Aloy could respond with. She hadn’t realized how Varl felt about her. “I hope I didn’t lead you on-“

“You didn’t,” Varl shook his head. “It was just wishful thinking of an idiot boy.”

“You’re not an idiot Varl.” Aloy said sitting down next to him. “At least not all the time.” She said with a smile playfully shoving his shoulder with hers. “You are a dear friend of mine, you helped me save the world, I can never repay you for that. You _do_ deserve someone great to become your mate. It’s just not me. I hope being my friend is enough though.”

“Of course.” Varl put an arm around her to give a quick hug. 

“And don’t worry,” Aloy stood again. “I promise when you find your mate I won’t tell her a Stitcher broke your nose.” She laughed.

“ _Wow thank you so much Aloy._ ” Varl said full of sarcasm rolling his eyes.

————

The west side of Meridian suffered heavy damage from the battle. Both of the elevators were destroyed and the Carja were relying heavily on the eastern elevator. Aloy was glad to see that cleanup and rebuilding had already started taking place and everyone seemed to be in high spirits, assisting each other in this time of need.

Aloy walked the path to the palace and when Avad seen her he jumped up and met her with a bone crushing hug. 

“Nice to see you too Avad.” Aloy breathed as he finally released her. 

“How are you? Teb said you were still recovering.” He asked, his hands still resting on her shoulders.

“I’m better. Thank you for welcoming Teb here. I didn’t know he was here until after the fact.”

“Absolutely, any friend of yours is one of mine. Although a Nora at my door in the middle of the night certainly wasn’t what I expected. He’s a nice boy though.”

“Yes he is. Not to cut right to the chase but I just wanted to inform you that War Chief Sona plans to leave either tomorrow or the day after. Whenever preparations are completed.”

“Already? I was expecting a longer stay.”

“The injured are well enough to make the journey and everyone is missing home.”

Avad nodded thoughtfully. “Would Sona except aid from us?”

Aloy considered it a moment before nodding. “I think she would be open to discussion.”

“She wouldn’t come here though.”

“No. I think she would come to the border if you wanted to meet.”

“See if you can get her to meet today around sunset so we can talk.”

“Sure I will go let her know.” Aloy said turning to leave. 

“Wait, don’t you want to see Erend?” Avad asked. Aloy stopped but didn’t turn around. Dread filled her heart, not only that but fear too. She wasn’t sure if she could handle seeing Erend like that. There was so much going on, it would be easier for her to wait until a better time.

“I can’t right now.” Aloy whispered. 

“Aloy, I don’t know how this is going to end. I can’t guarantee he will still be here tomorrow. He’s alive, they have been able to get him to drink, his body is healing, but he won’t wake up.” Avad said sadly. “He means a lot to me too, I think of him as a brother, I loved his sister. This is killing me too.”

“I just,” she took a shaky breath, “I can’t. Not right now.” She said walking out of the room.

————

Sona agreeed to meet Avad at the border. At sunset Aloy led the group of Nora which included Sona, Varl, and two other Braves to the eastern bridge that led to the Maizelands. 

Avad was waiting for them when they arrived, Marad was at his side flanked by several Carja soldiers and three Vanguard. The Vanguard looked out of place, like they wasn’t sure what to do without their captain to guide them.

“Avad, this is War Chief Sona.” Aloy introduces them. Avad extends his hand and after a moment Sona takes it and they shake.

“Good to finally meet you War Chief Sona, thank you for meeting with me. I want to first thank you for your help with defending our land, I know you only came to help Aloy, but thank you anyway.”

“We did only come to help Aloy, but in the end it helped the world. I just hope your casualties were at a minimum.” Sona replied.

“Everyone’s sacrifice will not go unnoticed. Now we must rebuild, our tribes, and our relationship between tribes. I will gladly lend you aid if you wish. I can send you some of my Carja army as an escort and protection during your rebuilding. I have a few experienced builders that are willing to make the journey to help you rebuild and some of my Vanguard are good muscle to have around as well.”

Sona thought it over for a few minutes, talking quietly with Varl and the others. Avad waited patiently for her reply.

“We will take the aid. I agree with you and Aloy about needing to make amends with the tribes. I think the matriarchs would want that too and I will speak with them about this when we return. We will be ready to leave in the morning if your people can be ready by then.”

Avad turned to Marad who simply nodded before turning and hurrying back towards Meridian. “Marad will see to it that they are. I’m glad we can come to a compromise and I hope we can do business in the future. I hope you all have a safe trip home.” Avad said extending his hand to shake Sona’s again. She simply nodded before turning around and started heading back to the Nora camp the rest of them following her. 

Avad gave Aloy a nod before him and the rest of the Carja turned to go back to Meridian. The only ones left were the Vanguard who seemed to be staring holes into Aloy’s head, but she wouldn’t meet their eyes.

The three that were standing in front of her were the same three that Erend had with him at the Alight the day before the battle. She didn’t know their names but she remembered them quietly teasing Erend about her. _I think she likes you. You going to kiss her captain?_

“Would you quit staring at me?” Aloy snapped finally turning to face them.

“Erend needs you.” The first guard said. “He’s waiting for you.” He seemed to be the leader of the other two, who looked like they were related with strikingly similar features.

“You don’t understand.” Aloy began. “I can’t sit and just watch him die. I can’t, I’ve seen him die in my dreams I can’t do it.” 

“He’s not going to die.” The second guard with long dreadlocks snapped.

“The hardest thing Erend had to go through was when Ersa died, then she was alive, then she died again in his arms. I didn’t think he would get over that, I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. _You_ got him through it. He came to your aid when you needed it, went to the front of the line just because you asked. He deserves better than this.” The first guard said. 

Aloy was ashamed of herself because he was right. She was being selfish. Erend deserved better than that.

“Ok, let’s go see him.”


	5. Chapter 5

Erend’s second in command was a big brute named Kol. He had a mop of dark hair on his head that almost covered his green eyes and he was a little taller and wider than Erend. He led the way back towards the palace followed by Aloy and then Bram and Hedin behind her. Bram and Hedin were twins, as Aloy learned, both with dark hair and eyes. Bram was a little heavier than Hedin, and he kept his hair in long dreads while Hedin kept his hair very short.

Kol stopped the group just before the bridge to the palace. “Bram, Hedin, go and get some rest. You guys are going with the Nora in the morning. Be sure you are ready an hour before dawn.” They both nodded and bid farewell leaving Aloy and Kol alone continuing to the palace.

It was odd seeing the palace so sparse of people, and Avad must have retired for the night. “How did the Vanguard fair in the battle?” Aloy asked trying to lighten the uneasy silence.

“We suffered several casualties. The rest of us had minor injuries except the captain. Although if we loose him it will be a major blow to the guard. It’s only been a year since Ersa.”

“A year already? It doesn’t feel that long.” She thought back to the Proving, and her heart ached for Rost.

Talanah met them on the stairs with a book on her hand. She smiled before enveloping Aloy into a hug.

“I’m happy to see you Thrush. I’ve been taking care of your boy like I promised.” She began with a smile. “His body is healing, but his slumber is deep. Maybe you can bring him out of it.” Talanah gave her an affectionate pat on her shoulder before turning to continue up the stairs.

Kol led her down the hallway of rooms, there were several that had injured people in them, before reaching the end of the hall to a closed door. Kol stopped and stood at the wall next to the door his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Go ahead.” He said gesturing to the door with his head. “I will make sure no one interrupts you.”

————

Erend lay in bed, his breath was steady but he looked like a corpse. The skin around his eyes were dark and they looked sunk into his skull. His lips were a dull blue color like he was frozen, his skin was bone white. His hair was growing in around his Mohawk and chin and there was sweat on his brow. 

He didn’t even _look_ like Erend. But as Aloy stood at the entrance of the room, leaning against the closed door at her back, she waited. It seemed like an eternity of waiting, waiting for him to rise up from the bed and give her a mischievous Oseram smile and say: _Let’s go get that drink or three. You still owe me two minutes._

Of course that didn’t happen, and it still took Aloy too long before reaching the bed and sitting in the chair beside him. She took his hand in between hers, and it felt too hot for how pale he was. His hand dwarfed hers, calloused and strong, and he still had a few blisters that hadn’t healed completely yet. As she examined his hand she noticed a fine scar running down the back of his hand, and she wondered how he got it.

She took a shuddering breath, begging herself not to cry in front of him, even asleep she would not let him see her like this. “I’m sorry it took so long to get here.” She started. She felt like a fool talking to him but it made her feel better, keeping her mind off crying. “It’s just hard for me. I never got to say goodbye to Rost, not in a permanent way anyway. I never got to say goodbye to Vala either, I think we could of become great friends after the Proving. It’s almost _easier_ when they are taken away suddenly. Like ripping a bandage off the wound. You still mourn the same, but when it’s slow, it’s like your being teased. Today was better than yesterday: does that mean they are getting better? Today was worse than yesterday: are they going to die tomorrow? It’s like a game and I hate it. There’s too much pain in dying slowly.”

There was a knock on the door and Aloy jumped up letting go of Erend’s hand. Kol stuck his head briefly in. “Sorry, but there’s a healer here for him.”

Aloy watched as the Carja healer went and checked things here and there on Erend, bringing a ladle of water to his mouth and rubbing his throat getting him to swallow.

“Isn’t there anything that can be done?” Aloy asked, not meaning it to sound as harsh as it did.

“We are doing what we can. For now we heal his body, and hope his mind will follow.”

A thought blossomed in Aloy’s mind. “Would you be willing to have him be looked at by a Nora healer? Combine ideas?”

“If they’d be willing to come here then yes absolutely.”

————

Aloy had never ran so fast, out of the palace, through the Maizelands, and to the camp. It was deep into the night but the healer was still awake, making the last rounds making sure the injured were ready for travel in the morning. She clutched her heart when Aloy came to a skid in front of her.

“All Mother, what’s going on?” She asked.

“Would you be willing to look at my friend? He’s in Meridian. The healers don’t know what to do maybe you can help them.” Aloy asked out of breath.

“I don’t know.”

“Please.” Aloy never made it a habit of begging, but she was now.

————

In the end the healer agreed and Aloy brought her back to Erend. Aloy let the healers alone in the room with him while she stood outside with Kol. He was tired, he had bags under his eyes and he stifled a yawn.

“When was the last time you slept?” Aloy wondered out loud.

Kol thought a moment before shrugging. “I don’t remember.”

“You should sleep.”

“I have too much to do, a guard to command, a king and a prince to protect, and a brother to look over. Not to mention five of our men are going with the Nora. Now patrols will have to be reassigned, double shifts need to be assigned. I have to keep most out of the bottom of the bottle for a while including myself.”

“You can’t do all that properly when you’re dead on your feet. Trust me I know.”

“How long have they been in there?” He asked changing the subject. 

“Hours, I think. I don't know, I can't keep track of days let alone hours.”

The door opened and the healers exited, the Carja healer walking down the hall after giving a brief nod. 

“Well?” Aloy asked.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” The healer said remorsefully. “I don’t know what can be done to bring him out of this sleep.”

Heavy footfalls came closer from down the hall and Aloy turned to see it was the twins again. Was it already an hour before sunrise?

“Everyone is ready and gathered.” Bram confirmed saluting Kol with a fist over his chest.

“Good, please escort the Nora healer back to her camp and get ready for departure. Bram, you will be leading the guard while on this expedition. I turn over command to you. Good luck.” Kol said clasping forearms with the other Oseram. “I will see you when you return.”

The three disappeared down the hall, leaving Kol and Aloy alone in the hall again.

“What about healers in the Claim?” Aloy asked. 

Kol shook his head. “They’d tell you to fill him with Scrappersap and stick his head in a forge.”

“Do you think that would work?” Aloy tried to lighten the mood.

Kol gave a small grin. “Nah, but it makes a good prank.”

“Okay. Then what about Banuk?”

Kol turned his head to reguard her with wide eyes like he suddenly remembered something.

“What?” Aloy questioned.

“The Banuk. My grandfather was a merchant, went all over the place selling weapons his brother forged, he went to Ban Ur after the business started slowing. He used to tell me stories of the Banuk shaman being able to heal their people by magic.”

“Magic? Do you really believe that?”

“Pappy was a little crazy after all that traveling he did during his life, but he never lied.”

"Hopefully Pappy will be right." 

—————

“So what is your plan?” Kol asked as Aloy rooted though the closet at Olin’s place, putting on her Nora survival armor over her tunic and trousers. The sun was rising quick and to be honest, she didn't really have much of a plan. She had a direction and that's all she needed for the moment. She felt a little guilty missing the Nora sendoff but she knew that at least Teb and Varl understood what was going on and really their opinions were the only ones in that group that she cared about.

“Head north, find the Banuk shaman, ask for assistance.” Aloy said like it should’ve been obvious.

“The closest group of Banuk is in The Cut, and you’re going to need a little more cover than _that_ to survive that cold. Even if you are a Nora.”

"I will worry about that later. Just tell me how to get there."

"Aloy, maybe you should think about this a little more. I've heard that the shaman won't even talk to outlanders." He watched as she strapped some pouches to her waist. "I feel like I'm sending you to your death."

"At this point I don't think much can kill me."

Kol took a step forward and laid a heavy hand on her shoulder, making her face him. "Don't start talking like that, you aren't invincible, that kind of thinking _will_ get you killed." He gently shoved her shoulder. "Besides I'm not going to be the one who has to tell Erend what happened to you when he wakes up. I'd be the first he would kill."

" _If_ he wakes up."

"Don't talk like that either, have a little faith."

"What faith do the Oseram follow?"

"The one where we get shit done. Hit 'em like a hammer 'till they can't hit back."

There was a long silence that fell between them as Aloy finished getting ready to leave. She wasn't sure how long she would be gone, but she at least wanted to see Erend before she left. She turned to Kol and they reguarded each other with serious eyes, he seemed to still be fighting himself on if he should tell her the way or not. Apparently he didn't know of her very well or he would know she always finds out somehow.

"The quickest way to the Cut, without having to go through the Claim, is to go to Grave Hoard, go north and head through the mountain pass. Should be no problem for you." He sighed giving in.

"Thank you, Kol." 

\-----

Avad was seeing subjects when Aloy got back to the palace, lucky for her, so she slipped by and down the stairs without anyone knowing. The infirmary seemed to be less busy as it had the day before, the quiet was welcome, the air seemed less sad. She reached Erend's room and went in. Secretly hoping again that he would hop up out of bed, he didn't.

"I've got to go away for a little while Erend. I'm going to try and find someone who can help you." She approached his bed taking his hand in hers. It didn't feel as hot today. "Please, hang in there until I get back." She begged him, she remembered telling him the same thing on the Spire.

_We're allowed to die now right?_ It was the last thing he said to her, smiling smugly at the joke. It wasn't a joke anymore.

"Erend," She blinked back tears. _Damn it, don't start crying._ She scolded herself. "Don't you die on me." She gently kissed the top of his forehead before turning to leave.


	6. Chapter 6

It was right at midday when Aloy called for a strider as she reached the outskirts of the Maizelands. Even as winter was right around the corner, the heat was scorching and she couldn’t wait until she was back into Nora land. 

She spread out a map on the back of the Strider and studied it carefully, finding the best and fastest path to Grave Hoard.

“It’s still going to take a few days to get there.” She spoke out loud to herself. She folded the map back up and stored it away, kicking the Strider into a run. 

It wasn’t long before she was out of the jungle and into the desert. She passed the gate at Day’s Height in a flash and made her way down the road along the river.

She spotted two Glinthawks that were on the remains of a dead watcher. She didn’t realize there was a third in the air until it swooped down and threw her from her machine.

Aloy quickly gathered herself and took out her ropecaster, tethering the Glinthawk with three ropes before it could attack again. She quickly made her way to its back overriding it. 

An idea sprung in her head that maybe she wouldn’t have to ride all the way to Grave Hoard but maybe she could fly. So she sat down on its back while it shook free of the ropes and beat its wings readying to take off. 

The Glinthawk got several feet into the air, but it seemed that the weight of Aloy plus its own weight was too much for the wings and the Glinthawk took a uncontrollable dive to the right, throwing Aloy off before it crashed into the rock wall beside the trail. 

The wind was knocked out of Aloy and by this time the commotion caught the attention of the other two feeding Glinthawks who quickly rose to the sky.

The overridden Glinthawk had overcame the two machines by the time Aloy ran to her Strider and hopped on, hoping to escape before it turned into an ugly drawn out fight.

Aloy’s Strider only took a few steps forward before she looked up to see the Glinthawk make its way over to a Trampler, who had wondered away from its herd.

_No, no, no! _Aloy cursed trying to get the Strider moving.__

__The Trampler seen Aloy not too long after it seen the Glinthawk but it decided that she was the better target. She dismounted as it was gearing up for its charge, then it hit the Strider head on putting it down in a heap of sparks. She rolled away but it already blasted the ground and the air around them erupted in fire._ _

__Aloy started running on foot trying to get away from the rest of the herd that had come to aid of the first one. She had to pat out a small flame that had started on her sleeve from the Trampler's blast but she was otherwise unharmed. It wasn’t too long before the herd gave up the chase and when she turned to check her tail there were just three Watchers hunting her now._ _

Two well placed arrows to their eyes took down two of them instantly. She slid into some long grass out of the last Watchers view. It stopped and approached carefully, looking for her. Once it got into range she sprung with her spear, stabbing it into the Watchers side before pushing it over onto the ground. 

Once she was out of danger again she began to make the trip on foot. She passed the Tallneck site and up the river, past some Snapmaws that were too busy bickering at each other than to notice her, and up just outside Lone Light. There was a herd of Broadheads just outside the bridge and she overrid one and hopped on it, crossing the bridge.

The sun was starting to set, and the fatigue from not sleeping the night before started catching up with her. So she decided to stop at Morning’s Watch to camp for the night. She picked a spot just outside the entrance, in the shadow of the cliff wall to make her camp.

She made a small fire and rolled out her bedroll beside it. The Broadhead had wondered off a bit, stirring up the ground as it went. It spooked a lone turkey out of a bush and Aloy jumped at the opportunity quickly knocking an arrow before letting it fly. It brought the animal down instantly and she retrieved it before dragging it back to her fire.

She plucked it before using her spear to tear it into more easy to manage pieces and positioned some over the fire. It wasn’t long before a fox had joined her, brought in by the smell. She reached down and took what was left of the turkey and threw it over the fire to the fox, no sense in wasting what she wasn’t able to eat. The fox jumped back before coming back to sniff the pieces and went to eating its fill before running off with the rest in its mouth.

A Glinthawk screeched somewhere above her, it scared Aloy enough that she spun around and knocked an arrow, doing her best not to fall into the fire. 

It was the overridden Glinthawk that she had tried to ride earlier. It sat on top of the cliff and examined her with its blue eyes, turning its head side to side.

“You? I can’t belive you followed me all the way here.” Aloy said lowering her bow. “You’re a trouble maker, you know that?” She turned turned her back on it, it just made a low hiss in response.

Her turkey had gone black by now, and she had to gnaw on the leg. She coughed at the taste of the burn skin. The Glinthawk made a noise from above that almost could pass for a laugh.

“I was never much of a cook anyway.” She said throwing the remains into the fire. “If it didn’t win me the Proving I didn’t care to learn it.”

Night had fallen, and the stars and moon hung so brightly that you could see almost as well as the daytime. Aloy slid into her bedroll, her eyes going to the Glinthawk above her, it squawked at her before taking off again, circling high overhead. She could hear the gentle hum of the Broadhead churning up the dirt in the vicinity and it grunted every now an then. Normally she would want to keep in the grass where she wasn’t easily seen but with these two watching for her, she should be fine.

—————

She wakes in a tavern, most likely in Meridian, there are Carja women serving drinks in their fine headdresses. There are also Carja women walking around in practically see-through clothing flirting with a few Vanguard who are stupidly drunk. The men boom with laughter at a joke only they get and the Carja courtesans politely giggle.

A particular boom of laughter brings Aloy’s attention to her own table. It’s littered with empty tankards and it looks like it’s a toss up between her and Erend on who drank more. _Damn_ it was good to see him. He was cleanly shaven, eyes glowing like ashes from the forge, red faced from laughing. She heard another light laughter and she looked around before she realized it was her own.

“So-” Erend drew out, grinning at her. “The lady can laugh.” He took a long sip of his drink.

“So, the Oseram can hold their drink.” She replied in the same manner.

Erend scoffed like he was offended. “We were breed for it.”

“This looks more than a drink or three.”

“Unfortunately drinking makes me long winded.” Erend bowed his head. “I apologize for keeping you up so late.”

“Haven’t you heard? I have all the time in the world now. I also maybe enjoying myself too.”

Erend’s smile couldn’t possibly get any wider. “I knew you liked me.”

“You make it hard not to.”

The side of the wall of the tavern was blasted in and a Deathbringer started firing into the crowd-

————

Aloy opens her eyes again and the ash from her fire is the only thing she sees. There’s a rock in her shoulder and her neck hurts. On the other side of the fire her Glinthawk coos at her. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She turns over away from it and closes her eyes again.


	7. Chapter 7

Aloy woke just before sunrise. It was still dark and cool at this time of day and she could see a whisper of her breath as she worked getting ready to leave again. The fire was nothing more than ash now, but she still kicked some dirt over it just for good measure. She rolled up her bedroll and put it away in her pack. She took out a piece of bread she had bought from Meridian before she left and ate on it quickly. The Glinthawk and Broadhead weren't in the vicinity so she took her finger and thumb, put them to her mouth and gave a long whistle. 

The Broadhead came running from around the corner of the cliff and stopped obediently in front of her. In one swift motion she was on its back ready to ride again. A screech came from high above and Aloy looked up to see the Glinthawk circling high overhead. She kicked the Broadhead in the sides and they were off down the road again. She came to a fork in the road and followed the smaller path north, she looked to the mountains and Daytower could be seen in the distance. She followed the main river, going across a small bridge. She could see the Stormbird flying in the area and hoped that she would be out of its sight before it came around to her location again. She kicked the Broadhead again, willing it to go faster, but a roar from above signaled that they hadn't made it. She looked over her shoulder and the Glinthawk, that had been flying above the Stormbird was now trying to capture its attention while it followed her. The Stormbird fired its lightening gun and luckily she managed to get out of range in time.

By now the Glinthawk was diving at the Stormbird, landing on its back to throw it off balance before taking off again. The Stormbird turned on the Glinthawk trying to capture it in its massive hooked beak. Aloy kept going, she didn't have time to be fighting everything she came across, she needed to get to the Banuk before it was too late.

It wasn't a long time riding before Aloy heard a familiar screech from above, and she didn't need to look to see the Glinthawk had taken its place above her again. It was a quiet ride along the cliff wall when she seen another Stormbird in the distance. This time though they were far enough away that they weren't seen.

She was just outside Dawn's Sentinel before it started to rain. Although the change in temperature was welcome, the rain put a damper on her mood. As she passed through the gate the Carja guards looked absolutely miserable with their feathered helmets looking like drowned birds and Aloy wondered how many would get sick from this. 

Aloy passed through a herd of Striders that were following a heard of Grazers, the Watchers that had teamed up to protect both herds didn't make much chase before they gave up and left her alone. She kept on the nothern trail, keeping out of the path of the Thunderjaw that wondered around close to the mountains. Although she was pretty trapped when she met the pair of Sawtooths though.

They were patrolling around the base of the mountain and Aloy had dismounted right as she seen them, keeping the Broadhead away from any fight that may occur. The Glinthawk was still overhead but seemed to be staying out of this one waiting for her to engage them. She went into the long grass, crouching out of sight. She crept closer until she was able to get close enough to one to override it at the right moment. She waited until it was within range and she whistled at it, making it jump to the side in fright. It came closer to investigate the noise and it got closer, its feet quaking the ground beneath Aloy's feet. It was practically on top of her before she sprang with her spear, bringing the butt end of it up to the neck of the beast. It only took a few moments before the familiar blue cords started creeping along the sawtooth and a plate around its neck came off. She knelt back down into the grass as the beast spun around and plowed the other Sawtooth into the ground. Aloy hopped up and went back to the Broadhead, mounting it before making a wide birth around the two fighting Sawtooths and down the trail again.

Aloy soon came up behind a Shellwalker convoy, just for fun she turned the Broadhead right down the middle of them and went right through the convoy, spooking every machine in it. The Shellwalkers sent out a couple poorly aimed shots before she was down the hill and out of sight again.

With the rain still coming down she was thoroughly soaked to the bone, and decided to head towards the SIGMA cauldron for the night. She had to fight her way through a pack of Watchers at the entrance before going in. The shelter from the elements was a nice change and she made a fire just outside of the metal door, were she could keep warm and dry at the same time. She didn't bother to hunt, she had enough of the rain for one day, so she brought out some more bread and jerky that she had kept in her bag and ate on that for a while.

She changed out of her wet cloths and into a separate set she had stowed away in her bag, she set the wet set and her armor out to the side to dry out overnight. She laid out her bedroll and slid into it, welcoming the warmth and dryness of it. She closed her eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep...

That didn't happen...

She opened her eyes to a moonless, perfectly clear sky, the stars shining bright. Aloy never took much time to lay and look at the stars, the only time she did was right before she would go to sleep and that wasn't long before exhaustion would overtake her. Tonight they seemed to be so clear, and there were so _many_ of them it seemed like there was no more room in the sky for any more. She was lying on her back in the long grass, the glowbugs dancing in her peripheral vision, and she could hear Grazers in the far distance churning up the ground.

"Do you think the Old Ones sky looked like this?" Erend asked from her left side. Aloy turned her head to look at him, she couldn't see many details of him in the dark but she could see the faint outline of him lying next to her. He turned his head to look back at her, his eyes reflecting the stars above. She thought a moment looking back to the sky.

"I think so, but I don't think they could see this many." Aloy said thoughtfully.

"How come?"

"Their cities glowed with light, it would of been too bright to see the stars."

"Do you think they were scared of the dark?"

"Everyone is scared of the dark, at one point in their life at least. There's too much mystery and too much danger in the dark, its instinct to be afraid."

"Are you afraid of the dark?" Erend asked, Aloy turned to look at him and seen him looking back at her, studying her reaction.

"I used to be, before I learned to kill the things that frightened me." She looked back at the stars. "You?"

Erend was quiet for a moment before answering. "I guess in a way I still am. I can't see in the dark, don't know what I'm hitting or where the thing I'm fighting is coming from."

"And yet we're out here. In the dark" Aloy mentioned quietly. Erened shifted, turning himself so he was proped on his elbow his face over hers, extremely close.

"What else are you afraid of?" He asked, his breath tickling Aloy's cheek. A few things crossed her mind, making her heart race, most of them had to do with the man looking over her with his dark eyes.

"I'm afraid of how this dream will end." She replied truthfully. The odd statement didn't seem to phase him but he had a look of curiousness on him.

"Do they usually end badly?"

"Yes, usually with the end of the world or the end of-" _you._ She thought. "Everything important in my life."

Erend leaned back, letting himself fall gently on the ground looking at the sky again. "But that's over, the end didn't happen."

"Tell that to my dreams."

He lifted a calloused hand and poked her in the side of the head. "Hey!" He said raising his voice. "The end didn't happen! Good dreams only!"

Aloy laughed smacking his hand away, he faked being hurt by cradling his hand with the other. "You're an idiot."

"You still like me." 

_Yes, I do. I'm desperately trying to save your life. I'm stuck in a dream world that I don't want to wake from._

Erend was never part of her plan, there was never any time for that kind of stuff. First it was getting through the Proving, then it was finding the killers, then it was finding Elizabet Sobek, and then it was saving the world. Erend was just a handsome outlander who flirted with her in Mother's Heart. But he became so much more than that. After she helped him find his sister was when she realized that he _understood_ what it was like to loose someone important to you. That feeling of not being good enough to stop it from happening, not fast enough, not strong enough. After that he became an important ally, he helped her stop the end of the world, protected her as bullets and missals and bricks rained down on them. He did it without a second thought, just to protect _her_. She thought about when they linked their hands at the Alight, he gave it a little squeeze before closing his eyes that final time. _Just hang in there Erend._ She wondered what he was thinking about in that moment. Did he really think he was going to die? _We're allowed to die now right?_ She looked over at dream Erend, his eyes still studying the stars. As much as she liked dream Erend, he wasn't the real one. She couldn't ask questions, he would only tell her what she already knew. She couldn't kiss him, and the thought brought her heart racing, she may try it anyway.

"Look, you made it." Erend said pointing far off in the sky. The sun was breaking over the horizon, casting colors over the mountains. They were in the Sacred Lands, at the base of the western mountains, watching the sun rise over the eastern ones. "It's a new day Aloy, no bad dreams."

They both raised to a sitting position just in time to see a herd of tallnecks lumbering across the valley, watchers, grazers, and striders running around their feet. She'd never seen tallnecks travel in general, let alone in a herd, and it was an amazing sight. She turned her head to look at Erend only to find he scooted close enough to her they were touching. Her heart began to race again. There was a smoldering look in his eyes, they were a light grey, the color of the metal on the machines. Her breath caught in her throat, threating to suffocate her. She was trapped by his look. He studied her face and brought a hand up to push a stray piece of red hair behind her ear. Heat crept up the back of her neck and spread to her ears and then her cheeks.

_Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream..._

He cupped the side of her cheek before pulling her face gently towards his, closing his eyes-

Aloy woke up to the sound of a Watcher powering up an attack. Letting go of the energy blast blinding and deafening her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After my laptop's charger gave out on me I finally got my new one and have my laptop back, oh happy day! So I've spent the day going over my last chapters and I updated them some, just minor stuff like grammar spelling I added a few details to hopefully help the flow but nothing you'd have to reread the chapters for.
> 
> As always thank you for reading and commenting!

The journey back to the Embrace seemed like a lifetime. The Northern Gate was a welcome site to Teb. He was home again. The Braves that weren't badly injured, along with the Carja soldiers and Vanguard, stayed way ahead of the rest of the group, scouting and taking out machines that got in their way. It was a long and dangerous journey but everyone that had set off with them from Meridian made it back home alive.

Sona made the decision to split up the Carja soldiers into three, each group going to the three different gates. One of the four builders along with some volunteers traveled to the main gate to be rebuilt. All the gates were important and must be reenforced but the main gate was the first line of defense for the villages, it was the main priority.

The rest of the Nora that had survived the attack were driven back to Mother's Watch, to be close to All Mother and that is were their journey ended. Sona and the rest of the Nora that had not stayed to help at the gates helped the injured out of the carts and transported into All Mother Mountain with the rest to be treated by the matriarchs. The village itself was still in complete ruin although it looked like some of the non-injured had begun cleaning up, removing ruined wood to outside of the village.

The five Oseram Vanguardsmen seemed to stare in wonder at the Metal Devil that was frozen in the mountain, along with the devastation of the villages that they had witnessed on the way here.

"I want the majority of the help here at the Watch, I want this village rebuilt first. Two of the builders stay here along with three Oseram, the rest will go to Mother's Cradle and start rebuilding there. Everyone else just help out where you can, we will make it through this and we will rebuild as quickly as possible. I also want a messenger to go to Mother's Heart and let them know we have arrived safely." Sona ordered standing at the door to All Mother. Teersa had come to stand beside her listening in. Her eyes scanned over the crowd looking a long while over the Oseram and the Carja builders that had began to talk among themselves forming plans. Teersa then took Sona by the arm and led her back into All Mother. Teb wondered if Sona would get in trouble for taking the lead. Teersa probably wouldn't mind as much as the other matriarchs. But this was a great time of need and breaking taboo shouldn't matter.

At least that's what Teb thought about it, but what did he know? He was just a simple stitcher.

"She's not going to give anyone time to rest?" The Oseram named Hedin asked.

"The ones that need rest the most are in All Mother Mountain getting it. Sona is the main source of authority after the matriarchs and she's got a lot of people looking at her to get stuff done and quickly." Teb explained. "She really doesn't have much of a choice."

"Right, so quit complaining, were here to work anyway." The Oseram's twin Bram elbowed his brother in the ribs. "You and Axel are going to Mother's Cradle, the builders are gathering volunteers up, so go get moving."

"Why do I have to go?" Hedin whined.

"Because you and Axel are the bottom of the totem pole." Bram snapped giving his brother a shove in the right direction. Hedin stumbled a bit before righting himself and meeting up with Axel to form up the group that would be traveling to Mother's Cradle.

"Sorry about that, he's just tired from traveling. We haven't done that much traveling in a long time." Bram apologized turning back to Teb.

Teb waved off the apology. "We're all tired and irritable, don't worry about it." Teb thought a second. "Actually could I borrow you for a little while?"

Bram seemed surprised at the request. "I guess, it will take a while for the builders to decide on what to do, till then it will be just clean up, what do you have in mind?"

\----

"What is this place?" Bram asked looking up at the small little cabin.

It was a longer journey than they probably should have taken, but they both seemed to enjoy the quietness of the walk. If Sona knew that Teb had taken the leader of the Oseram group up the mountain she wouldn't be happy. But he figured she was probably getting an ear full from the matriarchs so she wouldn't notice.

"This, my friend, is the home of Rost. Well, former home of Rost." Teb said, hands on his hips examining the hovel.

"Okay." Bram drew out waiting for clarification.

"Aloy's adoptive father. She grew up here."

"Oh, okay, so why are we were?"

"That." Teb said pointing to where the top of a nearby tree had fallen onto and through the roof. "I'd like to get the roof repaired, before winter really comes."

"Does Aloy come back here often?"

"I know she's visited the grave several times, I'd just like to think if she comes to visit she would at least have a place to stay that's away from the village. It also keeps Rost's memory alive." Teb explained before turning to Bram again. "This shouldn't take long should it?"

"Probably not." Bram said walking around the building to get a better look at the damage. "Probably a day, we'd have to haul the materials up the mountain though which would cost time. Getting the branch out will be the hardest part. Do you have a key inside?"

"Don't need one its unlocked."

"Well that simplifies things then." Bram said climbing the steps before opening the door. Teb followed him, the inside of the cabin was small but cozy and Teb imagined Aloy lying by the fire playing with her Focus as a child. Luckily for them the damage was to the roof only and hadn't done any damage to the loft which had two beds against opposite walls. Bram climbed the ladder to the loft before grabbing the branch with a gloved hand and pulling it the rest of the way through the hole in the roof. He handed it to Teb and he was able to maneuver it out of the front door before piling it onto the old fire pit. 

When Teb walked back up to the cabin Bram was on the roof, securing an old blanket around the hole in the roof with rocks. "Well as long as it doesn't rain, or warm up, this will at least keep the snow out until we can come back." Bram said sliding to the edge of the roof before hanging briefly off the edge and dropping to his feet.

"Sounds good, we'd better get back before we're missed." Teb said turning to leave with Bram following behind.

\----

Teb never seen such a feast before. 

The messenger that had went to Mother's Heart had come back with the rest of the tribe, mostly mothers and mates, and they brought a bounty of food for the Braves and new friends of the tribe. Teb sat on a log that had been set up around one of the many fires in the middle of the village, Bram at his side, as they chewed on boar and turkey and potatoes and soup drinking mead out of tall tankards.

"This is what I call a welcome." Bram said with a mouth full taking a long drink of mead.

Teb laughed. "I know I've never seen them do something like this before, especially for outlanders."

"I'm not complaining."

\----

The outlanders weren't allowed into All Mother Mountain, that taboo the matriarchs refused to break. But there was one building nearby that was standing enough to house them comfortably. Not much rebuilding was done that first day, and that was ok, no one really expected to make much progress, clean up would be the first part and that was going nicely already. The Carja builders were in the works of drawing up plans, with Sona's approval, of how the rebuilding would take place and the future looked bright for the Nora tribe.

Teb was lying in his bedroll inside All Mother, feeling at home for the first time in what seemed like forever, and his mind drifted to Aloy and Erend. He'd hoped that Erend was awake by now, and that Aloy was sleeping soundly, or sleeping at all. He worried that she wouldn't take care of herself while Erend was sick, although he was certain that the Carja woman Talanah would see to her health. If she was the kind of woman to order around the Sun King, she shouldn't have any issues with Aloy.

As his eyes closed and his mind began to drift away he thought of the Oseram with the dreadlocks and dark eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just take it in _that_ direction?
> 
> Yes, yes I did.


	9. Chapter 9

Kol sat on the edge of his bed and ran a tired hand through his hair. It was the first night he’d slept in days but he still felt weak, the pressure of command falling heavily on his shoulders. Now he understood why the captain fell into drinking when Ersa died. Kol could follow direction better than just about anybody, that’s what made him a good second in command. Others made the decisions, he made sure they were followed through and done correctly. Now he had a garrison of men looking at him and he was tripping over his feet trying to keep them all afloat.

Now he had Aloy to think about. She’d left three days prior because of him and his stupid grandfathers stories. But it was the only lead they had to help the captain.

He finally raised from the bed and washed up quickly, putting his armor on and strapping his war hammer on his back. He went into the small kitchen in his apartment and grabbed a couple of pieces of fruit from a bowl on the table before heading out the door, locking it behind him.

“Captain!” A voice from behind called. Kol turned to see a blonde haired Owan sprinting up the walk. Kol tried not to wince at the name, he wasn’t the captain, Erend was, but the men had a code and he had to follow.

“What’s going on?” Kol asked sliding his key into his pocket.

“We received a hawk this morning from the Sacred Lands, the war party arrived safely, all accounted for.” Owan said quickly. Kol took a quick sigh of relief.

“Excellent news, thank you. I will speak with the Sun King.” Kol dismissed the young Oseram turning from his apartment and making his way to the palace.

————

“Good morning captain.” Avad greeted Kol as he stirred his tea. Marad was writing something on a scroll stuffing his face with a flaky pastry.

“Good morning your highness.” Kol bowed. “I just came to inform you that we received a messenger hawk this morning and the Nora war party along with our aid have reached the Sacred Lands safely and everyone accounted for.”

“Excellent news, now rebuilding can begin.” Avad said before taking a sip from his cup. “How are things on our end?”

“Cleanup is, for the most part, finished. All unusable wood has been taken to the edge of the Maizelands to be burned. The metal requested from the claim should be arriving tomorrow for the elevators. Tonight will be a time that the bodies will be put to rest.”

Avad nodded sadly. “Of course, and I have requested a gathering to honor all the tragedies. Tonight will be the night of mourning, and when the sun rises tomorrow we will start fresh.”

“My men will be there.” Kol confirmed turning to leave.

“Kol.” Avad said his eyes overtop of his cup, Kol stopped to reguard his king. “I heard that Aloy was seen leaving a few days ago.”

“I haven’t seen her.” Kol said truthfully.

“Do you know where she may have gone? I would have thought she would come here to tell me her plans.”

“Maybe she’s trying to find help for Erend.” Also not a lie.

“Yes, yes maybe.”

—————

Kol stood in front of Erend’s bed, like he had so many times recently. His heart ached for his brother, at the same time he wanted to shake him and hit him until he woke so he could tell him what he needed to be doing.

The door to his room opened and Talanah walked in, her book in hand her arm still in a sling. 

“How’s the book?” Kol asked turning to her. 

“I haven’t heard any complaints from him yet.” Talanah said sitting in the chair beside the bed. 

“So, how’s the lodge?”

“Are we really making small talk right now?”

“I thought it would be appropriate.”

Talanah rolled her eyes, opening the book to her marked page. “Don’t you have rounds you need to make?”

“I just wanted to check on him.”

Talanah’s eyes softened for a fraction of a second, but Kol still caught it, he missed that look in her eyes.

“Well now you have.” She said quietly. “Speaking of which do _you_ know where Aloy went?”

“I haven’t seen her.”

“That wasn’t my question.” She pointed a long finger at him. “Don’t you dare lie to me, you were always a terrible liar.”

“She’s going to The Cut.”

“Why?” Talanah asked taken back.

“She’s going to find a Banuk shaman to hopefully find some way to help Erend.”

“Do you really think that will work?”

Kol shook his head. “It’s our only option we have to try.”

“Why are you keeping this a secret?”

“Because it was kind of my idea.”

Talanah sat back in the chair and studied his eyes. “I won’t say anything about it but I hope you’re right.” She said after a moment looking down to the book. 

Kol took that as his release and turned to walk out of the room. He stopped when he opened the door and looked back at her. Her headdress shining in the morning light that filtered in through the window, her black hair revealing just a hint of brown highlights in it.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, for how everything went down between us.” He said quietly, when she didn’t answer he walked into the hallway and closed the door quietly and he just stood in the hallway.

It was quiet for a few moments before Talanah started reading. “And when he died, I suddenly realized I wasn’t crying for him at all, but for the things he did. I cried because he would never do them again, he would never carve another piece of wood or help us raise doves and pigeons in the backyard or play the violin the way he did, or tell us jokes the way he did. He was part of us and when he died, all the actions stopped dead and there was no one to do them the way he did. He was individual. He was an important man. I’ve never gotten over his death. Often I think what wonderful carvings never came to birth because he died. How many jokes are missing from the world, and how many homing pigeons untouched by his hands? He shaped the world. He did things to the world. The world was bankrupted of ten million fine actions the night he passed on.”

————

Kol should have been at the funerary services that were being held that night. He couldn’t bring himself to care, technically he promised Avad his men would be there and they were. He may have been a bad liar but he could run his way round the truth too. Talanah taught him that.

Dusk was just ending, and the stars had finally started to open their eyes. Kol sat at the bar with a drink in his hand. He sloshed the drink around in the tankard thinking of Talanah like he usually did while he was there. He never honestly thought they were anything more than the occasional fling, secret fling at that. Talanah was a woman of high stature in Meridian, she would be expected to marry someone else of high class. Yet one night they happened at the same bar and got drunk enough to stumble into his bed in the early hours of the morning. 

After that it became a comfortable thing in between them. One would have a particularly rough day, would call on the other, they would get drunk and end up in bed together. She never told him she was exclusive, he didn’t expect her to be. So one night he was at the bar and she wasn’t there, a pretty Carja woman caught his eye and he took her home instead. When Talanah found out she about beat him to a pulp. Which turned into a screaming match that he couldn’t even remember now what they actually said to each other. Just whatever would hurt the most. 

And that was the end of that. He didn’t love her, and she probably didn’t really love him either, but he missed the companionship. She was a good person, good fighter, and a good _lover_. She was _way_ out of his league anyway. He sighed swallowing the last bit of mead from the tankard.

“You started without me.” Talanah whispered sitting next to him at the bar.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting spoilers (kinda) to Frozen Wilds. I'm trying my best to keep away from it as much as possible because I haven't played it yet and I don't want to ruin it for myself. Also as for trying to set this up some of the dialog may be the same or very similar to whats in the game. That should quit after the next chapter if I planned it out correctly in my head. Enjoy, thanks for reading and commenting!

Aloy was caught up in her bedroll, trying to escape quickly while being blinded by the blast from the Watcher. Once she had gotten free she turned to see the Watcher wind up to fling itself at her. They both went tumbling across the metal floor of the cauldron. Aloy recovered more quickly than the Watcher and took off back towards the entrance to retrieve her bow. 

The Watcher was hot on her heals and she stumbled and fell before reaching the bow. Rolling onto her back she brought the bow up and let an arrow fly not having to aim as the Watchers red eye was practically right in her face.

Sparks flew and the Watcher fell next to her. Aloy took a moment to regain her composure before she heard what sounded like another machine powering down. She got up to look out into the clearing and the Broadhead and her Glinthawk had taken care of the rest of a large pack of Watchers that wondered into the area.

She’d never before slept soundly enough to be snuck up on by a machine let alone a whole pack and machines fighting. The thought of it made her restless. She couldn’t get careless now. She was not safe and she had a job to do, she needed to woman up and get it done.

She packed up her things quickly and put on her armor that had dried before mounting the Broadhead. It was a cool morning but at least it wasn’t raining. 

There was heavy fog around the bottom of the mountain and it was an easy ride through mountain pass. She was able to pass a Fire Bellowback, a herd of Striders with some Watchers at a distance with the cover.

The fog cleared by the time she reached the valley as she continued north towards Grave Hoard. She was able to sneak past a Shell-Walker convoy and around to the path up the mountain to the frozen lakes and Glinthawk nests.

"Help!" A voice rang out in the distance. Aloy turned in the direction of the sound and seen a person perched atop a rock face, surrounded by three Watchers and a Fire Bellowback. There were two others on lower rocks trying to take out the Watchers but they were getting blasted by the Bellowback. Aloy turned the Broadhead towards them and took off in full force. Her Glinthawk took a wide turn and started spitting chillwater on top of the Bellowback, drawing its attention. She steered the Broadhead to the closest Watcher, bringing her bow from her back. She stood on top of the galloping beast and drew the bow, taking out another Watcher that was farther away. Right before the Broadhead came into contact with the front Watcher she hopped off as it plowed over the Watcher, sending sparks flying. The last watcher came charging towards Aloy and she fired two arrows at it, one hitting its eye and one hitting the plate on its chest, the one in the eye took care of the work.

The Bellowback was still focused on her Glinthawk as it blasted chillwater on its back and it also dived at it a couple times. The Bellowback wasn't agile enough to keep up with the quick turning Glinthawk and it was able to keep out of the way of its fire blasts. Aloy started hitting the Bellowback's cargo sacks with her arrows, and with the Glinthawk blasting it with the chillwater it was put out of commission quickly.

Aloy was still stripping the Bellowback for parts when the Nora that were trapped on the rocks came to her. They thanked her, and gave her a few supplies for the rest of her journey. She wished them well in return and they had said that they were going back to the Sacred Lands in preparation for the war party's arrival and to help in the rebuilding. She asked if they would say hi to Teb for her if they seen him. They didn't know who he was but said they would send the message if they came across him.

She decided to abandon the Broadhead at the base of the mountain, she wouldn't be able to take it all the way to the top and she would be too easy to see once she got into the Glinthawk nest.

On foot she walked up the mountain, snow had recently fallen and it muffled the sounds of her walking. Her Glinthawk was still overhead, way up high till it looked like a small bird. There was a watcher in the middle of the lake, dead, and there were three Glinthawks on top of it feeding. They weren't really feeding per se they were recycling the old parts to take it back to cauldrons but it looked like they were feeding. There were two more Glinthawks watching out over the other three and then Aloy seen three more on the mountain pass up to Grave Hoard.

"I hate Glinthawks." Aloy commented moving silently through the long grass that still rose up from the snow. Moving from grass patch to grass patch she was able to get to the path up to Grave Hoard without being seen. It was already starting to get dark as winter seemed to be sneaking up on the world. It was getting cold now, and she knew that winter in the Sacred Lands was rough but now she was really going into the mountains and she would have to take Kol's advice and seek even warmer clothing and armor than she already had.

It was about dusk when she reached the path up the mountain behind the metal devil of Grave Hoard and she was attracted to a fire that was perched along the path. A young Banuk woman stood next to the fire, her hood up tightly over her head.

"You don't look like you know this path, hunter." The woman said when she finally spotted Aloy.

"Seems like you're a long way from, anything." Aloy returned.

"This path, for me, leads south. Away from the Banuk. This is the quickest way out of The Cut without having to go through Oseram territory. Trust me, you want a fast way out of The Cut."

"The Cut is actually where I'm going."

"Then you are a fool. Strange machines, a curse on the mountain, its enough to make _me_ look forward to Meridian." 

"What kind of strange machines and what kind of curse?"

"Machines tougher and crazier than any in the south I heard, and smoke comes out of the mountain like a funeral pyre all day and night. The Cut is on the edge of everywhere, the edge of Ban Ur, the edge of the mountains, the edge of other tribes territories. It suffered in the war with the Carja, but it suffered before that too. Life there is a test to survive out on the edge."

"Doesn't sound homey."

"Home is what you carry in a roll on your back."

"Well thanks for the warning. I'm curious about those machines."

"Then the warning rolled right off of you."

"Theres another thing I am after." Aloy explained. "I'm looking for a shaman."

"They are up there, but good luck trying to get them to talk to you, they don't talk to outsiders."

"I will make them talk to me."

The woman shrugged, obviously not caring. "Good Luck."

Aloy walked past the woman and started climbing the cliffside.

_"Aloy, what are you doing?"_ Sylens said in her ear, startling her making her one hand slip. _"This path leads to The Cut. The Banuk have nothing to offer besides useless mysticism."_

"Mysticism may be my saving grace in this situation."

_"Your loyalty to the Vanguard is cute Aloy, but you're just wasting your time playing in the snow."_

"I'm surprised you're still checking up on me. I'd thought you had moved on."

_"I like to make sure all my loose ends are still tied nicely."_

"You know, I was thinking. The Banuk shaman thread blue cables through their skin right? Kind of like someone else we know, huh?" Aloy continued up the mountain, hand over hand. "So maybe the real reason you want me to stay clear of the Banuk is to stay clear of your past."

_"It's not the past that concerns me anymore Aloy its the present and the future. The derangement is still happening, which is why you should stop prattling and get back to what really matters."_ He paused to sigh. _"But as usual, you'll do as you wish."_

"Hmm, touchy."

She made it up to the to of the cliff and was able to take a breather from climbing. Sylens had gone silent by now, and the more she thought about it. She probably could have asked him if he knew something that could help Erend, but he probably wouldn't help even if he knew. The asshole.

It had gone dark by now, and it was freezing, so Aloy made camp near the edge of the cliff. She put up the tent she had in her bag, and rolled her bedroll out in it. She grabbed some fruit and dried meat that the Nora had given her earlier to eat on as she warmed by the fire. As soon as she was done eating she went into the tent and got in the bedroll thankful for the warmth that surrounded her. It seemed like only a few more seconds before she was asleep.

The sky was a sickly red color, like the color of old blood. The moon that hung from that sky was a pale yellow color and it didn't shine. The clouds were wisps of black, like they were burned. 

The world itself was without color, everything was black and white and there was no sound. The only sound Aloy could hear was the ringing in her own ears. She stood at the Alight the Spire in the distance was pulsing red with corruption around it. 

Helis stood in front of Erend, Aloy's spear in his throat, white blood poured from the wound. 

Helis stood behind Varl, taking Varl's head in his hands and spinning his head around, his neck cracking like thunder. 

Helis stood by Talanah, Aloy's spear protruding through her chest. 

Helis raised Erend's hammer over his head. 

The hammer was like an earthquake. 

Aloy became Helis, blood covering the bottom half of her trousers, drops of it hitting her face. 


	11. Chapter 11

Kol woke with the sunrise peaking in his bedroom window through the maroon curtains. At first he panicked that he was late for work but realized it was his day off and he sunk down deeper into his pillow. His head was pounding and he had to swallow some bile that crept up his throat. 

The sheets shifting on the other side made him whip his head around. Talanah was adjusting herself still asleep, her onyx hair flowing over her pillow.

 _Fuck._ He thought with a heavy sigh. 

Talanah opened her dark eyes and they looked at each other for a long moment.

“Good morning.” She said blandly.

“What happened last night?” He asked last thing he remembered was her sitting next to him at the bar.

“The same thing that always happens with us.”

“I’d figured that had stopped.”

“It has to now.” Talanah said getting out of bed. She was still naked and Kol turned his eyes away from her small but fit figure. She went into his washroom and he heard the water run briefly.

“Why?” He called out to her. 

“I’m getting married.”

Kol’s mouth dropped and he scrambled out of bed, threw his trousers on and stepped into the washroom doorway.

“You’re what?”

“I’m getting married.” Talanah repeated while running a brush through her hair. 

“Fuck Lanah when did this happen?” Kol asked raising his voice in anger.

“After the battle.”

“You didn’t think this information was important for me to know? I just slept with a mans fiancé!”

“It’s fine, Kol.” Talanah said turning to him, she sauntered up to him reaching out to touch his face. He caught her hand and pushed it away.

“It’s _not_ fine.”

“I’m surprised you of all people would be reacting like this.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“You don’t seem to be a monogamous kind of person.”

Kol pointed at her, fuming. “Don’t start on this again. You made that decision by yourself without telling me or I wouldn’t have slept around. You’d told me before we were a fling and nothing more. That is _your_ fault.”

“Flings don’t usually get together every night.”

“Whatever Lanah this isn’t even about me! There’s a difference between what I did and what you are doing. We weren’t together when I slept around. You are cheating on your future husband! Don’t you have any honor?”

Talanah turned to him in anger. “I have plenty of honor, Vanguard.”

“Then why did you do it in the first place?”

“Why do you think, you fucking idiot?” Talanah shouted at him. “I have feelings for _you_ Dumbass!” Kol had no answer for that, she continued as he gapped at her. “Why do you think I got upset when you were sleeping around? Why do you think I’ve been watching over Erend for days? Aloy is my Thrush, my friend, but he’s like your _brother_ and I knew that putting you in charge of the Vanguard would stress you out and that maybe if I was there with Erend you at least wouldn’t worry about him as much.”

It was becoming harder to argue with her without cloths on. Especially after that confession, and after he finally confessed to himself that he had feelings for her too.

“Why tell me this now? You’re engaged to another man and you come here and seduce me like you always do then tell me you have feelings for me. What’s the end game? Your going to stand at the alter with another man and I’m going to have to watch you give yourself to him.”

“This was supposed to be my closure.”

“Closure? Your slamming the door in my face with my fingers in the door jam.”

“This isn’t how I planned it to be.” Talanah reached out again and this time he let her touch his face.

“Who is it?” He asked, there was something that crossed her eyes that he really didn’t understand. Fear? Regret? His voice raised again when she didn’t answer him. “ _Who is it_ , Lanah?”

“Avad.”

The name about chocked him, he winced away from her touch turning back to the bedroom. “Fuck I’m going to be sick.” He said swallowing more bile.

“Kol.” Talanah tried to follow him but he held up his hand turning to face her again.

“Avad is _my boss_ Talanah! The fucking _Sun King_! I slept with the Sun King’s fiancé.” He sat heavily on the bed. “How am I supposed to face him now?”

“Avad doesn’t need to know, we’ve both had lovers before this marriage it’s not a big deal to either of us. This marriage is all about status. My family name will look good next to his especially with me being the Sun Hawk. We will have children that will succeed the line and that will be it.”

“Get out Lanah.” Kol said with his head in his hands.

“What?”

“Get the fuck out Talanah I can’t do this right now I’m too tired, too stressed, and too fucking hung over.” He said gathering up her cloths and thrusting them into her hands. He walked out of the bedroom slamming the door and went into his living room and set heavily on the couch putting his feet up. 

_Fuck._

Talanah came into the living room fully clothed and once again they stared at each other for a long moment. “I’m sorry for ending it this way. My intention wasn’t to hurt you.”

“It seems like all we end up doing is hurting each other.” Kol observed quietly. Talanah nodded before turning and heading to the front door.

“I’m still going to keep an eye on Erend. The duties of the Lodge have slacked off a bit and I have the free time. I will let you know if anything changes about his condition.”

“Thank you.”

Talanah opened the door before turning to Kol again. “Please, promise me, while you’re taking care of everyone and everything else you will remember to take care of yourself too?” Talanah asked. “That means eating and sleeping most of all.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kol gave her a small smile.

“Don’t be a wise ass.” Talanah grinned before walking out the door closing it behind her. 

Kol leaned his head against the back of the couch and sighed loudly. His head was pounding even harder now and his stomach was rolling like an angry sea. Talanah was getting married to Avad, but she had feelings for him, the second in command Oseram Vanguard. Someone she met by chance in a bar that turned into a fling that turned into feelings. His heart hurt more than ever. He’d have to not only watch her get married to Avad he’d have to watch over the both of them, protect the King and Queen, protect their kids. He’d have to watch, first hand, at the man who’d live the life that Kol wasn’t allowed to have, but also live with the fact that he could provide a life far greater than Kol ever could.

_Fuck._


	12. Chapter 12

Aloy woke in a cold sweat, her breathing heavy as her breath fogged up in front of her eyes. She shivered still inside her bedroll and she climbed out into the frozen morning, making a fire with trembling hands.

It took a long moment before she became warm enough to stop trembling, and she packed up her things before kicking snow onto the fire. She continued up the canyon and through a shallow bed of water before climbing up the canyon wall. Once she made it to the top she continued along the trail and across a bridge. As she ventured closer the Banuk started calling out her arrival.

"Outlander on the mountain!"

"Ha! You sure you'll be warm enough up here, Nora?"

"You made it to The Cut, outlander. Not that you'll stay long."

She kept quiet as she made it to the village, exploring for a short while before following the crowd to a gathering at the edge of the peak. She had stumbled upon a funeral service. She met an Oseram named Burgrend, who knew seemed to know a lot about the Banuk. She watched in amazement as the Banuk shaman danced and chanted with their machine heads, the drums pounding in her ears. The deathly quiet pause before three tame Glinthawks came down and picked up the talismans from the fallen warriors before disappearing again. Aratak the chieftain spoke to the crowd, about fighting a daemon. Burgrend said the supposed daemon was frenzying the machines on the mountain. He had mentioned about a shaman named Ourea who had gone missing. He wasn't sure what she found up on Thunder's Drum but he openly admitted that a shaman wouldn't talk to an outlander.

"So if you want to know more, you'll have to find her, and make her like you, I guess. Good Luck." Burgrend said before pointing her the way to Naltuk, Ourea's apprentice.

Before she departed to find Naltuk she met with the local merchant, who had a nice set of Banuk style armor. It was made of cured hide and fur interwoven with machine plates. It was colorful with blues and greens and yellows, but the more important part was it was _warm_.

After the armor change she went off to find the apprentice and found him on top of a outcrop of rocks. He was very standoffish at first, seeming to be very stressed out, which was understandable. He told her that Ourea was gone to where only shamans can tread to seek guidance from the voice of the Blue Light. He wouldn't tell her where exactly that was, at first, but after some persuasion, he relented. He pointed in the direction of beyond the mountains to the Icerasps and what they called the Shaman's Path.

The Shaman's Path was easy to find but Naltuk was right that it was a hard climb, lined with passages that had to be carefully navigated through with lighted markers and wind chimes that had to be followed by the echo, and bridges that were weighted and had to be crossed at the most opportune moments. Finally after climbing up to the top of the mountain she found the shrine that he had talked about along with the bluegleam. After taking a bit she made her way up the mountain again and started climbing stairs made by the old ones.

She went through the metal door into the mountain. After navigating though the chasm and having to reroute power to open the doors, going outside and back inside she finally opened the door to find the Banuk woman painting elaborate murals on the walls talking to someone Aloy couldn't see. The shaman asked to see how Aloy got into the locked rooms and she rerouted the power in the room again before the Spirits voice started calling out to Ourea before the daemon silenced her. There was a long moment of silence before Ourea turned to Aloy.

"Who are you? And what do you want?'

"I'm Aloy, I've come a long way to speak with a Banuk shaman, and Naltuk sent me, said you could use my help."

"He was not mistaken, but why did you travel to speak to a shaman?"

"My, friend, is back in Meridian. After fighting a great war he was injured and entered a deep sleep. Its been over a week and he has not woke even though his body continues to heal. I need to know if there is a way to help him. Please."

Ourea turned to walk around the room, looking at the murals on the wall. "Aloy, all life on earth comes from the Blue Light of the machines, a light that flows through all of us, it is where our souls are kept. Your friends soul has departed, his light extinguished."

"But he's not dead."

"But he cannot rise again without his light, his song, his soul."

"Is there _anything_ we can do?" Aloy asked, almost pleading. 

Ourea looked at Aloy for a long moment before answering. "Did you know the Tallnecks were the first machines?"

Aloy was surprised. "No I didn't."

"They were, and they are the only machines that their song has not changed, they are the mothers of the machines, the harbingers of the Blue Light. They are the closest to it than any other machine."

"Okay, what about them?"

"You need the blood of the Tallneck."

"Excuse me?"

"The blood of the Tallneck will ignite your friends light again, sing a song to bring back his soul into his body."

"I met a shaman that drank machine blood, it drove him mad."

"The machines songs have been turned from the Blue Light, the human race angered it. But the blood of the Tallneck will not harm him but heal him, it still sings its song to the Light."

"How am I supposed to get Tallneck blood? You cannot kill a Tallneck."

"Nor would you have to. Like I said, the Tallneck was the first machine, all the blood of the machines comes from the mother."

"So I have to get blood from every known machine."

"A special ceremony will take place after the blood is collected and it will be mixed with bluegleam and purified with prayer to the Blue Light."

Aloy began pacing the room. _Every machine? That will take a while to accomplish even for me. But is she telling the truth? Can I trust her?_ Aloy asked herself. _This whole thing seems very farfetched._ She turned to pace again. _Maybe I should contact someone in Meridian, Kol, Avad, Talanah? Get a second opinion. But there's no time for that either._ She turned again. _I'm wasting time thinking about it, wasting Erend's time._

"How long can a body live without its light?" Aloy asked when she stopped pacing.

"Every body is different, we all have different strengths, but no body can last long without its light."

 _Then I have nothing to loose._ Aloy nodded to herself. "Alright, I will get the blood you need to help my friend."

"In exchange you help me, help me defeat the daemon, and free the Spirit.

_Of course I should have known there was a catch._

"Fine Ourea, you have a deal."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if this switching back and forth between points of view is confusing or irritating.

It had only been a couple days but most of the framework for the new lodges were already up and the spirits around the village were high. Teb took a look around after work was completed for the day to admire their handy work.

“It’s all going much faster than I thought it would.” Bram observed as he met Teb around a corner admiring the work himself.

“That’s what happens when we all work together.” Teb stayed falling into step next to Bram as they walked to the main lodge for dinner.

They sat next to each other like always and Bram started stuffing his face full of food, bread and soup. Bram had just got done drinking the rest of his soup from his bowl before speaking.

“I talked to Sona this morning.” Bram began, popping his last piece of bread in his mouth. “She agreed to let me and you go to the cabin in the morning and fix it however long it takes. We’ll gather up supplies and see if we need to take a cart with us.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Teb agreed sitting his empty bowl to the side. 

It had begun a small tradition in the Nora village for people to gather together around one fire and share stories and chat with each other before having to separate for the night. Teb was stitching by the fire, a tunic for a little girl that had fallen and ripped it. 

“I don’t understand how you can see what you’re doing by just firelight.” Bram commented taking a drink of his tankard, of course the Oseram brought alcohol with them.

“It’s kind of like muscle memory at this point.”

“I can see that. Kind of like swinging your axe in battle.”

Bram took another long drink. “How did you become a stitcher anyway? I thought all Nora strive to become Braves?”

“Well not all of us can pass The Proving.” Teb snapped pricking his finger with the needle on accident.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“It’s fine, it was a long time ago.”

The general conversation around them turned from light to a little more serious as the grouped talked about the loved ones they left behind, the ones they’d lost, and the ones still waiting back home.

“Did you leave anyone special behind Vanguard?” Teb asked, trying to sound light without much meaning behind it. Didn’t work too well but the Oseram seemed to be on the point of drunkenness and didn’t seem to notice.

“Depends, you mean the Claim or Meridian?”

“Either, both.”

“Meridian no. The Carja woman don’t really apeal to me. Not that they aren’t pretty, just like I don’t know they are too dainty I think.” Bram took another drink. “I had a girlfriend back in the Claim, 100 years ago feels like, her father didn’t approve when I became a Freebooter and I don’t think she did either. So it kind of ended there. I’m sure she’s moved on by now.” He sound a bit sad and it hurt Teb’s heart. “What about you Teb?”

It was always a hard question when people asked him about finding himself a mate. He’d joke about being a ladies man but honestly all the women in the world weren’t his type. He wasn’t openly into men and it was a taboo thing in the Nora, being all about mates and matriarchy. He had once thought of take a mate just for image but knew it wouldn’t be fair to her. He’d just pretend that no woman was good enough. After a while the women stopped asking. It was just another thing his father hated about him.

“Ah, well, no, I don’t have a mate.” Teb said nonchalantly finishing the stitching, holding it up to the fire to make sure it was closed and secure.

Bram gave him a hardy pat on the back, that almost launched Teb off the log. “Don’t worry about it bud.” Bran slurred. “You’re an attractive guy, you will find someone in no time.”

He looked at Bram, and he’d hope so.

—————

They met in the middle of the village early the next morning. Bram was waiting on him and he stretched and gave a big yawn.

“Not hungover are you?” Teb joked calling out to him.

Bram gave him a grin. “Hungover? Please, I can drink twice as much and not be hungover the next morning.”

They gathered the supplies they needed to fix the cabin roof, along with some food. Since it was only a couple pieces of wood Bram decided to just carry it up the mountain.

“Are you sure about this?” Teb asked as he watched Bram haul the two long pieces of wood onto his shoulder like it was nothing. Teb was impressed to say the least.

“Yeah let’s go.”

Bram led the way up the mountain with the wood while Teb followed behind with a pack full of tools. Bram only switched the wood to his other shoulder once about midway and Teb tried, unsuccessfully, not to stare at him.

They made it to the cabin and it looked like Brams temporary fix had held up against the light snowfall they’d gotten overnight. Bram dropped the wood at the end of the steps and climbed up the pile of firewood on the side of the cabin to reach the roof.

“All Mother, be careful, I can’t carry your ass back to the village by myself if you fall.” Teb called up to him.

Bram waved him off. “Shut up and bring me the broom from inside.”

Teb retrieved the broom and passed it to Bram who brushed most of the snow off that side of the roof before passing it back to Teb. Then he took off the blanket and threw it to Teb as he took some mental measurements of the hole. Bram carefully climbed back down and they set up the wood to cut it into pieces with a handsaw.

They had taken a break a little after midday to eat. The main hole of the roof was fixed.

“There’s a couple of spots up here have begun to rot. We have the wood we may as well fix them while we’re up here.” Bram suggested.

“Yeah that’s fine.” Teb didn’t care how long they were up there by themselves.

“Do you think we’re doing this for nothing?”

Teb shrugged. “We could be, but like I said, Aloy wouldn’t want Rost’s home to go into ruin.”

“You said this is where she grew up?”

“Yeah, Rost took her in when she was a baby.”

“Sounds like a good guy.”

“I think he was, outcast or not. I’d only met him once when Aloy saved my life, he’d told her not to do it and she disobeyed him. But you know I think he’s the one who gave Aloy her big heart, and her stubbornness.”

“Then I hope she comes back, at least to visit.”

“I hope so too.”

A long silence stretched between them.

“Do you think she’s found a way to help Erend?” Bram asked quietly.

“If anyone can, it’s her.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Ah Kol, please have a seat.” Avad greeted waving a hand to the plush seat across from him. Kol sat down, heart pounding in his ears. He was tired, as always, and he didn’t get much sleep the night before, Talanah's words echoing in his head. The very sight of Avad brought so many feelings to his heart. Mostly he wanted to hit him, although he didn’t deserve it, Avad was in the dark about Kol and Talanah.

“Kol?” Avad asked pausing as he poured tea.

“Huh?” Kol finally brought his eyes to Avads.

“I asked if you wanted some tea.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Kol said taking the cup from Avads hands.

_Pay attention dumbass._

“How are things coming in the city?”

“Good, everything is right on schedule.” Kol reported taking a sip of tea.

“Excellent.” Avad smiles setting his tea down. “I do have some other news as well.”

_Fuck._

“I have recently become engaged to the lovely Talanah Khane Padish.” Avad announced.

_Congratulate him._

“Congratulations your highness, this is wonderful news.” Kol answered flatly.

_Bring it back a bit you’re starting to lie._

Avad caught the tone. “You don’t seem as surprised as I’d thought you would be.”

_Don’t lie._

"Well, your highness, it's a smart match. She is the Sun Hawk, she's strong and smart and capable. She would make a fine queen for the city." Kol said. This seemed to pacify Avad's curiosity. Kol's fingers were dug into the cushions on either side of him under the table and he was biting down hard on the inside of his cheek, and his knee bounced with nervousness. He needed to get out of this room.

"It is a smart match I do agree. Now of course I know that the Vanguard are several men down and I apologize for adding more to your plate but we plan to wed within the week if possible. Marad has began preparations already."

_Within the week?_

"Of course the Vanguard are at your disposal, your highness. The Vanguard can be at the wedding while you should have enough soldiers to spare and take over the Vanguard positions until the wedding is over. If that's what you want?"

"Yes I want the Vanguard to protect over the wedding, it will show any people that are still against you all being here that you are an important part of Meridian and their king and new queen."

It was honestly hard to hate the guy. Avad was a fair king, and if he was honest with himself probably a better man than Kol anyway. Their conversation was interrupted by light footsteps coming down the hall. Talanah was in her Carja silks instead of her usual armor, her midriff exposed and her skirt flowing behind her. Her hair was down in light waves around her shoulders. Kol suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Talanah stopped when she seen Kol. "I'm sorry, was I interrupting?" She asked taking a step back.

"Of course not, we were just talking about the wedding." Avad said waving her over. She made her way to sit by his side and he scooted closer to her until they were touching, he put a hand on her knee. Kol drew blood from biting his cheek.

"Avad, I'm sure the Captain has things he needs to be getting to, instead of talking about the wedding. Marad will take care of things." Talanah said putting her hand onto of Avads not looking at Kol.

"Of course, of course, I apologize Kol, please don't let me keep you from your duties." Avad said as they both got up and shook hands. "Marad and I will keep you up to date on things as they progress."

Kol simply nodded before beating a hasty retreat out of the room, though the palace, over the bridge and down the way to his apartment. He closed the door silently and put his back against it. His breathing was heavy and his eyesight was blurry. Anger boiled in his veins as he made his way into the kitchen and flipped the table over with one hand. He took one of the chairs and hit it against the floor until the wood cracked. Then he took another chair and did the same thing to it. He threw the broken back of the chair into the pile in the middle of the room before backing into the corner. He felt utterly miserable as he sank down to the floor, put his head in his hands, and cried.

_Lanah..._

\------

It was in the middle of the night, Kol was heavily drunk as he stumbled into Erend's room. The chair made a groan as he flopped into it and he sighed willing the world to stop spinning.

"You need to wake the fuck up Erend." Kol slurred taking a drink of his tankard, he couldn't remember what number this one was, he'd lost count hours ago. "I can't do this Captain thing anymore." Kol looked over and gave Erend's shoulder a hard shove. He didn't wake up.

"The entire guard is going to go down the pipes because of me. I'm not a leader, we both know that. Aloy brought you out of your misery, pulled you out of the bottom of the bottle, and told you that you were better than you thought. I don't have anyone like that anymore. I didn't realize that Lanah was the only person keeping me from drowning myself in drink until she told me she was marrying Avad. The signs were there, I just chose to ignore them. I'm not good enough for her. Fuck it's not like I can say anything now she's marrying a king. I can't do better than that."

“Kol.” Talanah’s voice floated from the doorway.

“How’d you know I was here.?” Kol asked quietly not looking at her.

Talanah crossed the room and put a hand on Erends forehead. “The guys at the bar said you headed in this direction. I figured this is where you’d come.” She took her hand from Erend and put it under Kol’s chin pulling his face to look at her. “Stop torturing yourself Kol.”

He looked in her pretty dark eyes. Tears started to flow out of his eyes and he wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her into him his face pressed against her stomach. She ran her hands through his hair, fingernails raking against his scalp. It was calming and felt his muscles relax under her touch. 

“Come on.” She began, lifting him up to his feet. “Let’s get you home.”

He didn’t remember much about the walk home. It was just him leaning heavily against Talanah as she led the way back to his apartment. She opened the door and stopped as she looked at the disaster that was the kitchen. Broken furniture scattered everywhere. 

“Damn Kol.” Was all she said as she made her way with Kol still in tow into the bedroom. She sat him on the bed and made quick work of taking his armor off and putting it off to the side. She took off his boots before swinging his legs up onto the bed and covering him up to the waist. His eyes were closed with his head against the pillow, she’d thought he was asleep but when she turned to leave he snatched her wrist. 

“Please stay.” He asked his grip strong. They looked at each other for a long moment before she sighed and made her way to the other end of the bed. She got in but lay down overtop of the covers. Kol turned over and put an arm around her waist, bringing her close, burring his head into her neck. He listened to her heart beat, it was pretty fast at the moment but he was too drunk to care. She was here with _him_ not Avad. She started raking her fingers through his hair again and he slipped into sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long guys. :(

It was the end of the week, and Talanah stood in front of a long looking glass inside her elaborate bedroom in the palace. She wore her wedding dress, made of the finest red silks the kingdom had to offer. Her hair was down and flowed around her in curls that she wasn’t used to and she wore a crown of flowers around her head. 

Her stomach was upset from nerves and she paced in front of the window watching the gathering of people in the courtyard. It looked as if the entire city of Meridian were there, which they probably were.

“You look beautiful, your highness.” Marad stood in the doorway. “Avad is a lucky man.”

“Thank you.” She sighed. She didn’t love Avad, but when he asked her to marry him it wasn’t like she could really say no. She wasn’t in a position that she could. She was expected to marry of power and position, that’s what her father would have wanted.

“Don’t let the crowd outside get you nervous. The guests inside is a much smaller gathering.”

That didn’t help at all.

Her mind drifted to Kol, her heart began to ache. The guilt was almost too much to bare. They hadn’t been together in months, why did she have to have one last go at it before the wedding? Why didn’t she tell him before hand? She just made everything a hundred times more complicated than it needed to be. She’d pushed him away only to real him back in. She’d blind sided him and now hurt him more than ever. Why did she tell him she loved him? 

_Idiot._

“Are you ready?” Marad asked, bringing Talanah back to the present. She just simply nodded before turning to him and retrieved a bouquet of flowers off an end table. “I need to go tend to the king as he makes his way to the alter, half of the Vanguard are here to escort you.” He quickly left out the door. 

Kol came around the corner to stand in the doorway. Talanah gave a small gasp in surprise, with him acting as captain she was sure he would have been with Avad. He was dressed in his Oseram armor and it looked like it had been polished for the occasion. His hair was greased back into a small pony tail and his beard and mustache was tightly trimmed. He looked handsome.

His dark eyes looked her over briefly, so quick she almost didn’t catch it before they settled back onto the far side of the wall.

“You look good.” Talanah said quietly after a moment of awkward silence.

“Thank you, your Highness.” Kol coldly replied. “If you’re ready, we don’t want to be late.” He held out an arm for her to take. She walked over and wrapped her arm around his before he turned and gently led her into the hallway.

“I’m surprised you’re not with Avad.” Talanah said with curiosity.

“He insisted.” Kol snapped. Talanah looked up at him, his face was set in a deep scowl and at this closeness she could see dark circles under his eyes.

“When was the last time you slept?” She asked. He only grunted in a reply which probably meant the last time they had seen each other when he passed out drunk, which was four days ago. She knew better than to try and lecture him about it.

“How’s Erend?” She hadn’t been to see Erend since that day, trying to keep from bumping into Kol and guilt over breaking a promise to Aloy was eating her as well.

“No change.” He sighed before adding. “No word from Aloy either. He’s been like this for weeks, it’s been over two since Aloy left. I don’t know how much longer this can go on.” He seemed to then realize he was rambling and abruptly shut his mouth.

“I’m confident Aloy will come through.” Talanah said giving Kol’s arm a small squeeze.

They now had reached the hallway that exited to the main terrace that the wedding was taking place at. She could hear soft music coming from behind the door and chatter from the guests. They both seemed frozen in their tracks, neither taking initiative to start down the hallway. Unsaid words hung in between them and it was suffocating.

“I’m sorry Kol.” Talanah said not looking at him. 

“I’m not doing this right now Lanah.” Kol snapped.

“Yes we are.” She said stepping in front of him bracing her hands on his arms anchoring him. “I’m sorry, it was selfish of me to do the things I have to you. It’s not fair to you.” He still wouldn’t look at her, his eyes fixed on the far wall just over her head. She brought her hands on either side of his face and angled his face to force him to look at her. “This isn’t what I wanted, but I have an obligation to my family to do this. Now I have an obligation to my King and my city. Out of everyone in the city he picked _me_ and I have to step up. We both knew this wouldn’t work out in the end for us. Does that make it any easier? No, but we both need to move on now. I still care deeply about you but-“

She was cut off by him leaning down and crashing his lips into hers. Warmth spread throughout her body as she instinctively moved her hands to the back of his head and onto his back bringing him closer to her. His arms wrapped around her waist and brought her closer too. 

After a brief moment he broke it off backing up until he was in arms length of her. Talanah’s head was still spinning from the kiss.

“I’ll be ok Lanah.” He simply said before grabbing her hand and gently pulling her down the hall to the doorway.

————

Kol walked behind the last row of chairs and guests to join the rest of the Vanguard that had we’re surrounding the alter from behind, facing the guests.

Omar was his second in command while Bram was still in Nora lands and when he stopped beside him Omar held out a handkerchief to him. Kol looked at it before looking back up at Omar in confusion.

“Dude, you have lipstick on your mouth.” Omar whispered. Kol’s eyes widened before quickly taking the handkerchief and wiping his mouth before sticking it into his pocket. “Do I want to know who you were just making out with?” Omar asked whispering again. By this time Talanah had started walking down the isle the music changing into a beautiful melody. Omar studied Kol’s face studying Talanah before it suddenly clicked in his mind. “Oh fuck Kol, really?”

Kol jabbed an elbow into Omar’s ribs as a couple guests that had been watching Talanah had turned to look at both of them with a disapproving look.

“Shut your mouth.” Kol hissed under his breath when the guests turned back around.

“You have serious issues.” Omar shook his head.

The ceremony took place at mid day, when the sun was at its highest. Avad and Talanah promised themselves to each other in front of family and friends. It really was a beautiful gathering, Kol admitted to himself. As much as he didn’t like the idea of them two together, he understood the reasoning behind it, and he knew Lanah was right, they both knew it wasn’t going to work out in the end. It hurt like war maul to the head, but it would pass eventually. 

Avad kissed his bride as the guests erupted into cheers, Kol clapped politely. 

————

Kol sat next to Erend bedside. Sipping on his drink and listening to the party going on upstairs, still, it was late into the night but the party was still going strong. There would probably be celebrations going on for the next week. 

“You’re missing quite a party Erend.” Kol said after taking another long drink. “The men have forgotten how to hold their drink without you around.”


End file.
